Games Beaten As Of 2018

I thought it was time to share more of my accomplishments! I posted a list a few years back but I’ve had plenty of time since then to add to the list. So as of April 6th, 2018, these are the games I’ve beaten! (Bear in mind, there are some that aren’t so much “beaten” as they are turned over. In the case of the NHL games, I take it to my first Stanley Cup victory and consider that a ‘win’ since those games go on for eternity and don’t actually have a game over credit roll. Same is true of other sports games.) Even given those facts, I feel pretty accomplished for my list here! A list I started compiling back in the early 90s because, as a youth, I wanted to know just what games I’d finished. And it’s only grown longer since then. If you’re reading this, THANKS! Elsewise, this is purely for me!

COLOR CODING USED:

VERY FIRST GAME (IE GAME #1 BEATEN)

QUARTER NUMBERED GAMES (IE GAME #25, #50, #50 UP TO 100TH PLACE)

100TH PLACED GAMES (IE GAME #100, #200, #300, ETC ETC)

GENERAL GAMES BEATEN THAT MEET NO MILDSTONE

 

1987

Baseball        (#1)                                         NES

Wizards N Warriors                                    NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

1988

The Legend of Zelda                                    NES

Tiger Heli                                                      Rounded Out           NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

1989

Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest                   NES

Abadox                                                        w/code           NES

Astyanax                                                    w/code           NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  3

 1990

Dragon Spirit                                               NES

Dragon Warrior                                           NES

Pro Wrestling                                               NES

Bad Dudes                                                    w/code           NES

Robocop                                                        NES

Monster Party                                              NES

Skate Or Die                                                 Rounded Out               NES

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles                   ARC

TMNT 2: The Arcade Game                       NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

 1991

Faxanadu                                                      NES

Yo! Noid                                                        NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

 1992

Tiny Toon Adventures                                 NES                                                                March

TMNT 3: The Manhattan Project             NES                                                                March

Super C (Super Contra)                              w/code   NES                                                                April

Rescue Rangers                                            NES                                                                June

Ducktales                                                      NES                                                                July

Super Mario World                                     SNS                                                                 Aug

TMNT IV: Turtles in Time  (#25)              SNS                                                                 Sept

Quackshot                                                    GEN                                                               Oct

 Contra                                                         w/code          NES                                           Nov

Sonic The Hedgehog                                   GEN                                                               Dec

Xardion                                                         SNS                                                                 Dec

TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan                     GBY                                                                Dec

                                                                                                           Total For Time Period: 12

 1993

TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist                   GEN                                                               Jan

Buster Douglas Boxing                              GEN                                                               Jan

Krusty’s Super Funhouse                           SNS                                                                 Feb

Bases Loaded                                               GBY                                                                Feb

Bonk’s Adventure                                        TGS                                                                March

Super Castlevania IV                                  SNS                                                                 March

WWF: Royal Rumble                                  SNS                                         01                    June

Batman Returns                                           SNS                                        14                    June

Tiny Toon Adventures:  Buster’s Hidden Treasure        GEN                07                    July

The Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link              NES                30                    July

The Legend of Zelda III: A Link To The Past                  SNS                03                    Aug

Splatter House                                              TGS                                        18                    Aug

Jurassic Park                                                GEN                                       07                    Sept

Golden Axe                                                   SCD                                        15                    Oct

Silpheed                                                         SCD                                                                Nov

Mortal Kombat                                             SNS                                         09                    Nov

Starfox                                                           SNS                                                                 Nov

Robocop 2                                                     NES                                        15                    Nov

The Legend of Zelda IV: Link’s Awakening           GBY                          25                    Nov

Jurassic Park            (#50)                          SNS                                         14                    Dec

Sonic The Hedgehog 2                                GEN                                       28                    Dec

Chuck Rock II: Son of Chuck                     SCD                                                                Dec

                                                                                                            Total for Time Period: 22

 1994

Micro Machines                                           GEN                                       22                    Jan

Sonic The Hedgehog                                   SCD                                        03                    March

Sonic The Hedgehog 3                                GEN                                       05                    March

TMNT: Tournament Fighters                    GEN                                                               June

TMNT: Tournament Fighters                    SNS                                         14                    July

Cool Spot                                                      GEN                                       29                    Aug

Mortal Kombat II                                         SNS                                         13                    Sept

Sonic The Hedgehog: Sonic & Knuckles (1,2,3)     GEN                          01                    Nov

Donkey Kong Country                                SNS                                         24                    Dec

 Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition              GEN

                                                Raptor Ending                                              28                    Dec

                                                Grant Ending                                                29                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 10

 1995

Rock N Roll Racing                                     SNS

                                                Regular Ending                                            02                    Jan

                                                Warrior Ending                                            02                    Jan

                                                Veteran Ending                                            03                    Jan

Mario Andretti Racing                                GEN                                       10                    Jan

Robocop Vs Terminator                             SNS                                         22                    Jan

Sunset Riders                                                GEN                                                               June

Silver Surfer                                                  w/code           NES                04                    July

Rocket Knight Adventures                          GEN                                       10                    July

Lagoon                                                          SNS                                         15                    July

Zool 2                                                             JAG                                       

Super Mario Bros 3 (Mario All Stars)     SNS                                         10                    Aug

Super Mario Bros 2 (Mario All Stars)     SNS                                         27                    OCT

Chaotix                                                          32X                                                                 Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 11

 1996

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island      SNS                                         21                    Jan

Illusion of Gaia        (#75)                          SNS                                         31                    Jan

Super Mario RPG                                        SNS                                         06                    July

Tekken                                                           PSX                                                                Sept

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest           SNS                      11                    Sept

Super Mario 64                                            N64                                         17                    Oct

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

1997

Suikoden                                                        PSX                                        08                    June

Vandal Hearts                                              PSX                                        13                    June

Starfox 64                                                      N64                                         06                    July

Tomb Raider                                                 PSX                03:15 AM      01                    Sept

Final Fantasy VII                                        PSX                03:40 AM      12                    Sept

X-Men Vs. Streetfighter                              ARC                                        22                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

1998

Tomb Raider II                                             PSX                                        16                    Jan

Resident Evil 2                                             PSX

                                                Leon Ending                                                 04                    May

                                                Claire Ending                                                                       June

Tekken 3                                                        PSX                                        04                    May

X-Men Vs. Streetfighter (Import)              SAT                                                                 July

The Legend of Zelda V: Ocarina Of Time                  N64      01:25 AM      10             Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

1999

Resident Evil: Director’s Cut                    PSX

                                                Jill Valentine                                                01                    May

                                                Chris Redfield                                                                      May

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  1

2000

The Legend of Zelda VI: Majora’s Mask         N64                                15                    Nov

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis                            DRC                                       06                    Dec

Resident Evil: Code Veronica                   DRC                                       13                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  3

2001

Final Fantasy IX                                          PSX                                                                Apr

Legend of Dragoon                                     PSX                                                                Sept

Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver                     PSX                                                                Nov

Timesplitters                                                 PS2                                                                 Nov

Final Fantasy X                                           PS2                                                                 Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2002

Forgotten Realms: Baldur’s Gate (#100) PS2                                                                 Mar

Star Wars: Rogue Leader (Rogue Squadron II)       NGC                                               Apr

Resident Evil (Remake)                              NGC

                                                Jill Valentine                                                03                    May

                                                Chris Redfield                                                                      May

Starcraft                                                        CPU                                                               Aug

Timesplitters 2                                              NGC                                                               Oct

Halo                                                               XBX

                                                Normal Mode                                                                       Oct

                                                Legendary Mode                                                                 

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy      PS2                                                                 Nov

Dragonball Z: Budokai                              PS2                                                                 Nov

Silent Hill 2                                                   XBX

                                                Reg Game w/James: Walking Away                                 Nov

                                                Restless Dreams: Mary                                                       Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

2003

Resident Evil 0                                             NGC                                                               Feb

The Legend of Zelda VII: Windwaker      NGC                                       07                    Apr

Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic      XBX

                                                Light Side Ending                                        27                    July

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell                        XBX                                                                July

Metal Gear Solid                                         PSX                                                                Aug

Star Wars: Rebel Strike (Rogue Squadron III)       NGC                                              Sept

Soul Caliber II                 NGC       UsingLink                                                                  Nov

Final Fantasy X-2                                        PS2

                                                Standard Ending                                          25                    Dec

                                                Special Ending I                                                                   Dec

Kingdom Hearts                                           PS2                                         30                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

2004

Silent Hill 3                                                   PS2

                                                Good Ending                                                02                    Jan

Beyond Good & Evil                                   PS2                                         02                    Feb

Silent Hill                                                      PSX

                                                Bad Ending                                                                           Mar

Devil May Cry                                              PS2                                                                 Mar

Thief: Deadly Shadows                               XBX                22:00 PM      05                    June

Star Ocean: Till The End of Time             PS2

                                                Pepito Ending                                                                       Aug

                                                Sophia Ending                                                                      Aug

                                                Nel Ending                                                                            Aug

Halo 2                                                            XBX

                                                Normal Mode                                               11                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  7

2005

Resident Evil 4         (#125)                        NGC               02:30 AM      03                    Feb

The Granstream Saga                                 PSX                17:30 PM      10                    Feb

Wild Arms 3                                                  PS2                 00:58 AM      14                    Mar

Silent Hill 4: the Room                               PS2                 00:31 AM      23                    Mar

Timesplitters: Future Perfect                    PS2                 21:10 PM      29                    Mar

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow      XBX     16:16 PM      30            Mar

Okage Shadow King                                    PS2                 00:29 AM      13                    Apr

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory      XBX         22:35 PM      13                    June

Haunting Ground                                        PS2

                                                Good Ending                        02:40 AM      28                    June

Arc The Lad: Twilight of Spirits                PS2                 03:15 AM      30                    June

Ico                                                                  PS2                 17:25 PM      06                    July

Xenosaga                                                      PS2                 18:45 PM      15                    July

Star Wars: KOTOR II: The Sith Lords     XBX

                                                Light Side Ending                14:10 PM      11                    Aug

Contra: Shattered Soldier                          PS2                 17:10 PM      15                    Aug

Jade Empire                                                 XBX

                                                Good Ending                        15:39 PM      17                    Aug

Ys VI: The Ark of Napishtim                      PS2                 15:40 PM      22                    Aug

Xenosaga II                                                   PS2                 23:52 PM      28                    Aug

Sly Cooper & The Thievus Raccoonus     PS2                 23:31 PM      02                    Sept

Sly 2: Band of Thieves                                PS2                 20:15 PM      09                    Sept

Jak II                                                              PS2                 20:45 PM      15                    Sept

Jak 3                                                               PS2                 17:32 PM      19                    Sept

Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves                     PS2                 18:27 PM      01                    Oct

Xenogears                                                     PSX                17:25 PM      14                    Oct

Mercs (Capcom collection)                        PS2                 15:29 PM      19                    Oct

Forgotten Worlds                                        PS2                 14:19 PM      20                    Oct

1943 KAI (Capcom Collection)     (#150) PS2                 11:05 AM      11                    Nov

Wild Arms                                                     PSX                15:11 PM                              Dec

Wild Arms 2nd Ignition                                PSX                13:01 PM      22                    Dec

Ratchet & Clank                                          PS2                                                                 Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 29

2006

Sailor Moon S (Import)                              SGG               18:51 PM      05                    Feb

Wild Arms: 4th Detonator                           PS2                 01:47 AM      22                    Feb

Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King

                                                                        PS2

                                                Normal Ending                     00:50 AM      22                    Mar

                                                Special Ending                     12:13 AM      01                    May

Legend of Heroes IV: A Tear of Vermilion        

                                                                        PSP                18:37 PM      31                    Mar

 Kingdom Hearts II                                     PS2

                                                Standard Ending                  20:54 PM      04                    Apr

                                                Special Ending                     02:23 AM      26                    Apr

Thief: The Dark Project                             CPU               18:29 PM      14                    June

Radiata Stories                                             PS2

                                                Non-Human Ending            23:17 PM      18                    June

Star Ocean: The 2nd Story                           PSX

                                                Rena/Claude Ending           23:45 PM      06                    July

Grandia III                                                    PS2                 14:06 PM      21                    July

Heroes of the Pacific           Pilot               PS2                 15:43 PM      31                    July

Darkwatch                            Cowboy         PS2                 18:58 PM      02                    Aug

Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus      PS2

                                                Hard                                       23:36 PM      18                    Aug

                                                Special Ending                     16:04 PM      20                    Aug

Xenosaga III: Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)

                                                                        PS2                 00:15 AM      20                    Sept

Final Fantasy XII                                        PS2                 00:55 AM      24                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 14

2007

Rogue Galaxy                                               PS2                 12:42 AM      27                    Apr

Splinter Cell: Double Agent                       360                 01:34 AM      18                    July

Prey                                                                360                 22:30 PM      28                    Aug

Blue Dragon                                                 360                 22:00 PM      16        Sun     Sept

 Blazing Angels                     Veteran          360                 00:06 AM      25        Tue     Sept

Halo 3                                    Normal          360                 23:56 PM      26        Wed    Sept

Bioshock                                Normal          360

                                                Little Sister Savior               22:54 PM      08        Thu     Nov

Assassin’s Creed      (#175)                        360                 03:45 AM      30        Fri      Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  8

2008

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare              360

                                                Normal                                  01:57 AM      20        Thu     Mar

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed             360

                                                Light Side                              13:20 PM      28        Fri      Nov

Mirror’s Edge                      Normal          360                 01:39 AM      25        Thu     Dec

Silent Hill Homecoming     Normal          360                 02:40 AM      26        Fri      Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  4

2009

Star Ocean: The Last Hope                        360                                                                 Mar

Star Ocean: First Departure                     PSP                19:30 PM      08        Wed    Apr

Mass Effect                                                   360                 01:56 AM      02        Sat      May

Resident Evil 5                                             360                 02:53 AM      11        Mon    May

Shadow of the Colossus                              PS2                 20:40 PM      06        Thu     Aug

Steambot Chronicles                                   PS2                 00:00 AM      22        Sat      Aug

Max Payne                                                    PS2                 13:30 PM      18        Fri      Sept

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne      PS2                 00:26 AM      06        Tue     Oct

Dead Space                                                   360                 19:34 PM      06        Fri      Nov

Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core                   PSP                01:01 AM      08        Sun     Nov

Assassin’s Creed II                                      360                 13:35 PM      23        Mon    Nov

Silent Hill Origins                                       PS2                 11:14 AM      07        Mon    Dec

Assassin’s Creed Bloodlines                      PSP                15:10 PM      08        Tue     Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 13

2010

Final Fantasy IV                                          NDS                19:22 PM      31        Sun     Jan

Mass Effect 2                                                360                 02:18 AM      02        Tue     Feb

Final Fantasy XIII                                       360                 00:36 AM      07        Wed    Apr

Final Fantasy                                               PSP                19:00 PM      22        Thu     Apr

Silent Hill Shattered Memories                 PS2                 15:15 PM      22        Fri      Oct

Assassin’s Creed II: Brotherhood            PS3                 00:36 AM      01        Wed    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

2011

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune                     PS3                 21:38 PM      18        Tue     Jan

Dead Space 2            Normal (#200)          PS3                 19:54 PM      01        Tue     Feb

Dead Space: Extraction                             PS3                 14:08 PM      09        Wed    Feb

Bioshock 2                                                     PS3                 23:07 PM      11        Fri      Nov

Assassin’s Creed II: Revelations              PS3                 17:37 PM      17        Thu     Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2012

Mass Effect 3                                                360                 18:15 PM      09        Fri      Mar

Silent Hill Downpour                                  PS3                

                                                Normal Ofr.Imprisoned      15:15 PM      24        Tue     Apr

Uncharted 2: Honor Among Thieves        PS3                 22:37 PM      06        Sun     May

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim                      PS3                 19:15 PM      29        Tue     May

Assassin’s Creed III                                    PS3                 21:20 PM      04        Sun     Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2013

Batman: Arkham Asylum                            PS3                 01:26 AM      04        Fri      Jan

Dishonored                                                   PS3                

                                                Good Ending                        16:40 PM      15        Fri      Feb

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time                      PS3                 21:29 PM      27        Wed    Feb

Bioshock: Infinite                                        PS3                 19:35 PM      01        Mon    Apr

Tomb Raider                                                 PS3                 16:17 PM      14        Tue     May

The Simpsons Arcade                                  360                 21:37 PM      28        Tue     May

The Last of Us                                              PS3                 01:12 AM      05        Fri      July

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag               PS3                 20:20 PM      10        Sun     Nov

One Night                                                      CPU               02:52 AM      21        Thu     Nov

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period:  9

2014

Red Dead Redemption                                PS3                 01:45 AM      03        Fri      Jan

Heavy Rain                                                   PS3                 03:34 AM      10        Fri      Jan

                                                ~Jayden dies

                                                ~Shaun saved

Saints Row IV                                               PS3                 02:40 AM      04        Tue     Feb

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception              PS3                 01:46 AM      05        Wed    Feb

Injustice: Gods Among Us                         PS4                 00:05 AM      15        Sat      Feb

Outlast                                                           PS4                 20:24 PM      19        Wed    Feb

Thief                                                               PS4                 21:55 PM      04        Tue     Mar

South Park: Stick of Truth (#225)             PS3                 02:28 AM      07        Fri      Mar

Lone Survivor                                               PS3                 02:52 AM      07        Mon    Apr

Assassin’s Creed IV.2: Freedom Cry          PS4                 02:22 AM      13        Sun     Apr

Assassin’s Creed III.2: Liberation HD      PS3                 01:48 AM      17        Thu     Apr

Thomas Was Alone                                     PS3                 01:20 AM      22        Tue     Apr

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II          PS3                

                                                Light Side                              11:09 PM      08        Thu     May

Dead Space 3                                                PS3                 03:09 AM      20        Tue     May

Wolfenstein The New Order                       PS4                 03:18 AM      31        Sat      May

Mickey Mouse Castle of Illusion               PS3                 00:46 AM      03        Tue     Jun

P.T. [Silent Hills Teaser]                             PS4                 17:10 PM      25        Mon    Aug

Soundless Mountain II                               CPU               01:00 AM      09        Mon    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 18

2015

Assassin’s Creed IV.3: Rogue                   PS3                 03:56 AM      03        Sat      Jan

NHL 13 [Stanley Cup Winner]                  PS3                 02:05 AM      09        Fri      Jan

Assassin’s Creed V: Unity                          PS4                 22:34 PM      11        Sun     Jan

NHL 14                                                          PS3

                        Memorial Cup                                                                                              Jun

Tomb Raider and the Temple of Osiris    PS4                 18:00 PM      10        Tue     Nov

King’s Quest          PS4            Chapter 1                         23:05 PM      24        Thu     Dec                

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 6

                                                                                                            Total All Time:          241

 2016

Firewatch                                                      PS4                 05:16 AM      08        Tue     March

Until Dawn                                                   PS4                 22:41 PM      04        Thurs  Aug

                                    Mostly Dead

Life Is Strange                                              PS4                 22:12 PM      12        Wed    Oct

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 3

                                                                                                            Total All Time:          244

 2017

Final Fantasy XV                                         PS4                 01:38 AM      06        Fri      Jan

Resident Evil VII                                          PS4                 23:25 PM      08        Wed    Feb

Mass Effect: Andromeda                            PS4                 19:09 PM      07        Fri      Apr

Passportout                                                  PC                  23:34 PM      09        Fri      Jun

South Park Fractured But Whole              PS4                 13:51 PM      21        Sat      Oct

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 5

 2018

Assassin’s Creed Origins   (#250)            PS4                 23:42 PM      06        Sat      Jan

Horizon Zero Dawn                                    PS4                 22:18 PM      06        Fri      Apr

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 2

                                                                                                            Total All Time:         251

THANKS FOR READING!!

Advertisements

ALL YOU FANS CAN BITE ME! I’M A CHILD OF THE 80’S!!

Jesus…I am SUCH a child of the 80s. I was just watching a video on Youtube that I completely disagreed with. It was ragging on Mass Effect Andromeda for…I don’t know, reasons I guess. And it dawned on me, holy shit, we were so much better off in the 80s. We VALUED what entertainment was. We watched those cheesy monster movies. We savored the stupid and the asinine. We knew that it didn’t have to change the world to get our jollies because we knew what FUN was.

And now? Well, now everyone is up in arms that women are in movies. That black people have a presence in entertainment. That games have glitches. Glitches!? I’ve got your glitches, bitches! Bitches, let me introduce you to the NES. A system where you had to BLOW it to make it work!

Oh I ‘m sorry?? Was there a graphical glitch in your modern game that you could still play even though your character looks like they’re taking a dump everywhere they go?? Let me demonstrate our system, friends! Yes, the NES where you have to blow into its crevice and then shove it into its slot and WIGGLE it until it was willing to play the freakin’ 40 dollar game you just bought!

Oh My God! There’s a WOMAN in your soup!!? Let me introduce you to Metroid, son, where your lead character just turned out to be a woman in a suit of armor! HOLY SHIT! EPIC!

I mean seriously…The Goonies, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, Duck Hunt, HOWARD the Fucking Duck, Monster Squad, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, SPACEBALLS, Time Bandits, Bad Dudes, Double Dragon, Jaws and all its dumbass sequels, One Crazy Summer, Thundercats, Jem, My Little Pony, Q Bert, and…goddamn the list could go on!

The point is is this (and listen well my little snuggle bunnies), back in the 80s, we knew what entertainment was. We didn’t sit there and try to offend one another and deride each other because we thought Transformers was a serious form of storytelling (IT’S NOT! STOP BASHING MICHAEL BAY FOR MAKING A FUCKING SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT OVERSIZED ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THIS IS NOT SHAKESPEARE, OR MARK TWAIN, OR ISAAC ASSIMOV! THIS IS A SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THAT’S WHAT MICHAEL BAY WAS MADE FOR! SO IF I HEAR ANOTHER PERSON SAYING HOW SHITTY A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WAS, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE IT’S A BUNCH OF ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE FREAKIN’ CARTOON WAAAASSSSS!!!! 80S MOTHUFUCKA!! DEAL WITH IT!) No what we did was go ‘Holy shit! Did you see that thing and how AWESOME it was!?’ And we would reply, ‘OMG! Right!? That was totally EPIC!’ Because unlike this current generation we grew up appreciating entertainment for what it was. Entertainment. We didn’t try to attribute any sort of special meaning to it, we were just glad that it was coherent HALF of the time.

For Christ’s sake! One of our Heroes in the 80s was a man wearing nothing more than a loin clothe smacking around a cackling skeleton with vaguely homo erotic undertones with supporting characters so obtuse you’d swear you were watching a porno these days! (He Man Mother Fuckers! Deal with it!)

And yet, you take your entertainment so seriously you can no longer suspend your disbelief? Luke Skywalker wouldn’t act that way? Deadpool isn’t being serious enough? SJWs are taking over our entertainment? I mean, can we stop. Just..just stop. This is bullshit. I’m calling BULLSHIT! SHENANIGANS! IT’S ALL SHENANIGANS!!! Because this is stupid. I go to movies to be entertained. When I’m entertained, I smile. You know what I do when I am NOT entertained? Not do it again and find something else. I keep hearing this phrase over and over again: liberal snowflakes or sometimes just snowflakes. You want to know what us guys from the 80s would tell ya? It takes one to know one.

You don’t like something, that’s fine. But STOP trying to ruin it for others you, you, you SNOWFLAKES! Because you don’t really know what it means to be entertained. You’re soooooo obsessed with what is ‘TRUE’ to the original story, you’ve forgotten how to just lean back and enjoy the ride.

I mean MY generation sat back and LOVED Top Gun! Do you know what happened in it? Nothing. It was just great character development with a half assed action scene at the end. But we LOVED it. Why? Because it ENTERTAINED us!!! Why can’t you be entertained anymore?!?! What are you looking for!??

Ugh. I’m tired. You people make my face tired. Sometime in the next few days I should rent the Transformers Last Knight movie. Just so I can see massive robots kicking the shit out of each other. Because that’s entertainment you rejects!!!

To Hell With The PC “Master Race”!

I am so SICK and tired of hearing how AWESOME the PC players are with their nonsense gaming experiences! Playing games on the PC fucking sucks! I mean completely! I have had enough of the obstinance from the PC community thinking they’re superior to the rest of us. I’m a console player through and through and there’s a reason why.

With a console I don’t have to worry about tweaking my damned game to work right. I don’t have to fine tune the details until it is visually acceptable. It works right when I put it in. The controllers do EXACTLY what they’re supposed to do! I don’t have to download this driver or that update. On a console it just does it! This is the disconnect between PC gamers and console gamers. PC gamers don’t understand WHY console gamers like their consoles.

“Well it’s outdated as soon as it releases!” And I say True! But I don’t have to spend 20 hours trying to get my software to work in the vein hope that there won’t be any issues at the end of the process. With a freaking PC I have to be a fucking programmer with advanced knowledge in C++ to make the goddamned game play. This is true for Steam products and EA products and any games that you have to download! Sure, y0u get to customize your experience but keep in mind this you, “master PC gamers”, those of us who like consoles like them because we DON’T have to be fucking programmers to play one fucking game!

It’s fucking ridiculous! If I buy a controller for the PC and plug it in, the mother fucker should work the second I plug it in! I shouldn’t have to find some obsolete driver that may or may not still exist on the internet just to use it! I shouldn’t have to update my windows os to some newer version I just don’t fucking want just to sample the newest game released! Plug N Play is a term for a reason jackasses! And it’s not for me to sit there and pretend I’m something I’m not and to be berated for not being on board with your bullshit to begin with!

What’s great about the PS4 or XBOX One is that you can just put in a game, plug in a controller, and sit back and enjoy the fucking game you just spent 70 dollars on without having to jump through a million hoops! I HATE, HAAATTTTTEEEE PC gaming! It is soooooooooo inconvenient and frustrating! There is NO fun to be had in it unless you’re some psychopath who has hours a day to spend on specking your rig to the optimal settings and knowing what graphical cards you need, what audio drives you need, what cooling systems are required to make your fucking PC actually fucking work!!!!

To HELL with that shit! Sorry for my obscenities but I’ve had enough! Stop claiming to be the superior gaming society when you have to go through a military boot camp just to play the latest release! It’s annoying and inconvenient! You want to know why so many gamers like console releases!? It’s because they don’t have to spec their PS4 or XBOX One every time they buy a game! They can just plug it in and it works! Period! After a dozen hours of just TRYING to sample a new game, I’ve entirely given up! It’s not worth the stress and agitation! It’s not worth the grief! I’ll stick to my consoles thank you fucking much and don’t you come at me anymore with your bullshit PC master race crap! Because I’ll just call you a sadist and a masochist who’s only happy to suffer under the most unbearable of electronic circumstances!

I just wanna play!

Anyhow…that annoys me sometimes so I won’t be doing that anymore. Just wanted to vent my frustration because, damn, it’s ridiculous. But, you know, if that’s your thing, more power to you.

Viva La Console Race!

Why Are Women In Games Still Marginalized?

So I was watching the AngryJoeShow on Twitch.TV and seeing what the new Dead Rising 3 game was like. As always, it seems like just another slasher game with generic interactions and a somewhat clever interface with the creation of new weaponry able to slaughter hordes of zombies with little to no effort. Your typical action hack n slash game. If you’re into that, no big deal. Hey, someone has to play them. I myself am into heavy story oriented games, which seem to be on the decline in recent years. What with so many people looking only for the gratuitous fix in beating something up. The American way nowadays it would seem. Well, the game Dead Rising 3 serves up plenty of onslaught and destruction to give a perfect fix to those who don’t like to do a whole lot of thinking in their gaming. And then DR3 gets to the sequence where the woman, Rhonda, is abruptly abducted by a motorcycle gangand taken inside a small room where, presumably, she will be raped to the pleasure of the macho mad thugs riding in to destroy the day. Meanwhile, our hetero male hero must fight off the horde of motorcycling devils to swoop in and save our damsel in distress.

And that got me to thinking about all the recent garbage I’ve been reading on comment boards over the last few months. About how there are not any good games with female leads. Mostly they’re not good, according to the male populace playing them, because they have females in the lead. Because, obviously, a woman can’t carry a game. She’s automatically considered weaker and must by nature take on the role of the damsel in distress or cower down to the ‘might’ of the grunting male who is quite possibly more able to carry the title than she. And I began to wonder, why? Why is this mentality so prevalent in gaming? Why do so many men believe that women are automatically weaker? Is it a symptom of the western world? Have we been brought up to ‘keep women in their place’? Why are women portrayed in this fashion?

Particularly since we have such great games as the new Tomb Raider reboot and the cult classic Mirror’s Edge. Hell, Jade in Beyond Good and Evil carried herself with a bravado that male protagonists would be the envy of. Yet still women are looked down upon. Has history not taught us ANYTHING about the strength of women? What is a woman exactly? What is the difference between a man and a woman? Why, I do believe, it is one lowly chromosome. The Y chromosome. And it makes me ask WHY all the time.

As a culture, America seems to ignore all the historical figures that have demonstrated quite convincingly that women are not at all weaker than men and, in fact, are often stronger. Joan of Arc, Boudica, Cleopatra, Tawakul Karman, Hatshepsut, Mulan, Elizabeth the I, Tomoe Gozen, and even Gladiatrixes in ancient Rome. And the list goes on. As many men are reknowned through history there are the same in the woman variety and yet women are looked down upon still. I had a debate on youtube with a guy who believed that women shouldn’t be in games because men represented what players most wanted to be: badasses. Yet when I posted my retort with a list of badass women, he was unimpressed. Likely because he was a troll. But also likely because the mentality in this country still exists that women need to be protected. Which is nonsense. Sure there are women who are abused and taken advantaged of. The same is true of an equal number of men. But men, out of some distorted sense of honor and wounded pride, are far less likely to report these abuses. But in gaming, companies are more than happy to keep the stereotype going.

While on the ubisoft forums, I stated I wanted to see more female assassins represented in the lore. And I got flack for that! Guys saying that that ‘isn’t realistic’ and that ‘women weren’t active in those conflicts in those time periods’, which completely ignores the fact that women have fought in every major combat throughout history. Women disguised themselves as men during the civil war and no one was the wiser until long after the war! Women fought in all the major World Wars, built advanced weaponry in World War II, and still today serve in active duty rosters throughout the world! Yet somehow they are still considered ‘weaker’! How is it that history can show us so much about the strength of individuals in humanity, yet we’re so shallow as a people that sex is the only defining factor!?

It annoys the piss out of me and I’m tired of it! I want my games to reflect the truth. That women share in the burden all people carry throughout the world and throughout history. We all struggle to survive and take care of our families. Whether or not you have a certain body part does not change the desire of the individual to make a difference! Games may be an escape from reality, but every game trying to capitulate to the desire of ubermales is a great disservice to gamers everywhere and a disgrace! If women were so much weaker than men, a goddess wouldn’t be the major threat in Assassin’s Creed, the term ‘Amazonian’ wouldn’t exist, Jade and Faith wouldn’t be able to change the dynamics of the worlds they inhabit, and Queens wouldn’t be knealt before in high fantasies!

It’s far past time that this debate was changed and such insolence to diversity and understanding nipped in the bud! I want my badass woman protagonist already, and I want her to be taken seriously!

Star Cloud Episode II Driving Mr Queasy

The second HD episode of Star Cloud!

I’ve been remaking all the original episodes, which are still up at vimeo.com, so that it can be viewed in HD and be less shaky and easier to view. Enjoy the episode and thanks for watching!

 

Copyright 2007-2013 CE Cosmic Fantasies and Screaming Cloud Studios

Video Games Still Have A Lot of Growing Up to Do

So, I’m still upset. March, 2012, I’m waiting desperately for the grand finale of my all time greatest video game series to date: Mass Effect 3. I love Mass Effect. The immersive story telling, choices that effect a galaxy, intense character interactions. This was literally the game that let you decide the fate of the galaxy based on your actions. The first game was phenomenal. The second game very actiony but took the story down to a more personal level with an epic conclusion where your character might not even survive! And then came ME3. So much anticipation. Yet, as soon as the action starts I’m already losing some of the story. Where was the trial of Shepard? Where was the Batarian/Human war? Eh that was miniscule. I dived in and enjoyed the game immensely. Right up until the final fifteen minutes of the game where suddenly the narrative took a turn for the worse. Suddenly, we get this starchild who has all the answers in the galaxy (and all those answers were asinine and ridiculous to boot), the Reapers –the ultimate baddies we’ve been gearing up to do battle with–were nothing more than pawns to the starbrat, and none of our choices we made over the course of three games mattered one iota!  It was a slap in the face and I couldn’t help but stare at the screen in dismay and hatred and depression and regret. How could this have happened? I was justifiably outraged and wen to the internet looking for answers. Maybe there was a secret ending? Nope. This was the final ‘artistic’ vision of Bioware. So I gave my own two cents worth to the growing backlash to the ending of ME3 which was starting to look like Mass Effect-gate. But the developers stood behind the ending and decided to give dlc that would answer burning questions to the fans eyes, ears, minds, souls, and whatever. Only those answers didn’t really answer anything and the narrative of Mass Effect remained destroyed.

I still like Mass Effect, mind you, but something got lost in the translation of fan outrage that I think developers are still ignoring to this day. I heard a lot of ire being cast out by the development community: entitled fans, vocal minority, people who just didn’t ‘get it’. But this confuses the issue. It wasn’t entitlement that created the backlash. It was the failure of actually writing a decent story in the end. Looking back on ME3 I see now so many issues that plagued this game. Lore was ignored, characters did dumb things, the Reapers weren’t the real threat–Cerberus was (a terrorist organization in the fiction that somehow got a hold of an army that must have been cloned on a private world because damn that was a lot of them) and the Illusive Man was now completely evil and idiotic. The developers didn’t understand one crucial thing: we weren’t pissed Shepard died, we were pissed that you didn’t finish the story! It just…ended! And then we get a bunch of nonsensical scenes to wrap up the very last narrative in Shepard’s story and this iteration of Mass Effect. Nothing was explained! We’re not dummies. We can infer. But we’d much rather you just finished the story and not give us lazy cinematics! If you wrote a book and then in the end the lead character just died and everything that happened just went into limbo you’d expect the readers to stop reading that author’s books. Period. 

But apparently video games have a different idea of story telling. The problem lies in how the narrative unfolds. We have a game. You play a game. And oft times the story is secondary to the gameplay which means oft times more you get really ridiculous stories with piss poor climaxes that don’t serve the narrative at all. This is what I felt about Mass Effect 3. But that game isn’t the only perpetrator of bad narrative in the end game (or even in the game itself.) Over the years gamers have been given all sorts of lunkers that fail to deliver a logical narrative that delivers the impact that we’re looking for. Assassin’s Creed III took a similar avenue in not delivering the goods by just completely ignoring the narrative’s direction and decided to just call it quits with the lead character’s story. Granted the lead character had gone stale because the writers didn’t know what to do with him. But I’ve seen this lazy execution before: Deux Ex, Final Fantasy, Xenosaga, Assassin’s Creed, a slew of RPG’s…hell the list can go on indefinitely.

Here’s a thought, perhaps the writers should have an end game in mind BEFORE they start making the game. Especially where you have a multi-game narrative spanning over so many titles. Mass Effect seems to exist purely for the choices players can make and exploring cool worlds. But with the end of that the choice angle disappeared as did world exploration. So what happened? They didn’t have a plan. They didn’t have a total story outline. Same thing with Assassin’s Creed. It got so sloppy that they didn’t know what else to do with it other than just end the story.

It seems to me game developers are only concerned with the action a game develops. But, games have come quite far in terms of narrative storytelling. So you can’t just ignore story like the old days with the Legend of Zelda and Super Mario Bros. Those games were just about the fun. Nowadays the medium has to tell a compelling story as well. Just look at the phenomenal Last of Us. Naughty Dog game us a superb game with fun gameplay mechanics, intense scenarios, and guess what? an awesome end game! The narrative was complete! Did bad things happen? Yes! But it was an excellent experience that puts it at the top of my list of all time great games, even beating out Mass Effect in my opinion.

Story story story, guys! Lay it out first then bring it to us! And if you fail own up to it. Don’t insist we just feel ‘entitled’ because you are way out of the ballpark on that. We want the complete package. If Shepard has to die, so be it. But you’d better do it in a compelling logical fashion not give us some Star child that makes our character choose one of three pretty colors where the character then jumps into a beam and desintegrates leaving a galaxy in turmoil, our teammates abandoned, and the economy in tatters. Oh and then try to suggest no our teammates were evacuated while being fired at by a massive two kilometer tall instrument of death and somehow leaving the solar system just when all hell is breaking loose! That is illogical and unacceptable! You can write better than that!