ALL YOU FANS CAN BITE ME! I’M A CHILD OF THE 80’S!!

Jesus…I am SUCH a child of the 80s. I was just watching a video on Youtube that I completely disagreed with. It was ragging on Mass Effect Andromeda for…I don’t know, reasons I guess. And it dawned on me, holy shit, we were so much better off in the 80s. We VALUED what entertainment was. We watched those cheesy monster movies. We savored the stupid and the asinine. We knew that it didn’t have to change the world to get our jollies because we knew what FUN was.

And now? Well, now everyone is up in arms that women are in movies. That black people have a presence in entertainment. That games have glitches. Glitches!? I’ve got your glitches, bitches! Bitches, let me introduce you to the NES. A system where you had to BLOW it to make it work!

Oh I ‘m sorry?? Was there a graphical glitch in your modern game that you could still play even though your character looks like they’re taking a dump everywhere they go?? Let me demonstrate our system, friends! Yes, the NES where you have to blow into its crevice and then shove it into its slot and WIGGLE it until it was willing to play the freakin’ 40 dollar game you just bought!

Oh My God! There’s a WOMAN in your soup!!? Let me introduce you to Metroid, son, where your lead character just turned out to be a woman in a suit of armor! HOLY SHIT! EPIC!

I mean seriously…The Goonies, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, Duck Hunt, HOWARD the Fucking Duck, Monster Squad, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, SPACEBALLS, Time Bandits, Bad Dudes, Double Dragon, Jaws and all its dumbass sequels, One Crazy Summer, Thundercats, Jem, My Little Pony, Q Bert, and…goddamn the list could go on!

The point is is this (and listen well my little snuggle bunnies), back in the 80s, we knew what entertainment was. We didn’t sit there and try to offend one another and deride each other because we thought Transformers was a serious form of storytelling (IT’S NOT! STOP BASHING MICHAEL BAY FOR MAKING A FUCKING SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT OVERSIZED ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THIS IS NOT SHAKESPEARE, OR MARK TWAIN, OR ISAAC ASSIMOV! THIS IS A SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THAT’S WHAT MICHAEL BAY WAS MADE FOR! SO IF I HEAR ANOTHER PERSON SAYING HOW SHITTY A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WAS, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE IT’S A BUNCH OF ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE FREAKIN’ CARTOON WAAAASSSSS!!!! 80S MOTHUFUCKA!! DEAL WITH IT!) No what we did was go ‘Holy shit! Did you see that thing and how AWESOME it was!?’ And we would reply, ‘OMG! Right!? That was totally EPIC!’ Because unlike this current generation we grew up appreciating entertainment for what it was. Entertainment. We didn’t try to attribute any sort of special meaning to it, we were just glad that it was coherent HALF of the time.

For Christ’s sake! One of our Heroes in the 80s was a man wearing nothing more than a loin clothe smacking around a cackling skeleton with vaguely homo erotic undertones with supporting characters so obtuse you’d swear you were watching a porno these days! (He Man Mother Fuckers! Deal with it!)

And yet, you take your entertainment so seriously you can no longer suspend your disbelief? Luke Skywalker wouldn’t act that way? Deadpool isn’t being serious enough? SJWs are taking over our entertainment? I mean, can we stop. Just..just stop. This is bullshit. I’m calling BULLSHIT! SHENANIGANS! IT’S ALL SHENANIGANS!!! Because this is stupid. I go to movies to be entertained. When I’m entertained, I smile. You know what I do when I am NOT entertained? Not do it again and find something else. I keep hearing this phrase over and over again: liberal snowflakes or sometimes just snowflakes. You want to know what us guys from the 80s would tell ya? It takes one to know one.

You don’t like something, that’s fine. But STOP trying to ruin it for others you, you, you SNOWFLAKES! Because you don’t really know what it means to be entertained. You’re soooooo obsessed with what is ‘TRUE’ to the original story, you’ve forgotten how to just lean back and enjoy the ride.

I mean MY generation sat back and LOVED Top Gun! Do you know what happened in it? Nothing. It was just great character development with a half assed action scene at the end. But we LOVED it. Why? Because it ENTERTAINED us!!! Why can’t you be entertained anymore?!?! What are you looking for!??

Ugh. I’m tired. You people make my face tired. Sometime in the next few days I should rent the Transformers Last Knight movie. Just so I can see massive robots kicking the shit out of each other. Because that’s entertainment you rejects!!!

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Us Vs Them: The Human Condition

US VS THEM: THE HUMAN CONDITION

Racism. A rightfully hateful word. It’s full of rage and disgust and the judgement that whatever is different is bad. Or if it’s not bad, it at least is predisposed to certain proclivities that can’t be ignored. For most people, racism as a term implies the eternal struggle between black and white (any sort of prejudice towards foreign entities tends to be more in the “xenophobic” category in most minds. Unless you’re African). It is filled to the brim with assumptions of character, class, wealth, identity, and mannerisms. It doesn’t care if it’s accurate, only that the wielder is secure in their own mind about what’s right and what’s wrong.

     Unfortunately, we don’t get racism without stereotypes. And stereotypes exist because of certain truths we’re all familiar with. Yet those truths come from over generalization based on a limited interaction with select individuals. Which of course colorizes perspectives and leads to general prejudices for which we’re all guilty.

     Let’s look at a prime example that I think shines a bright light on my line of thought. This is an example that, regrettably, is all too prevalent in our society and serves as the driving force of confusion, fear, and ignorance.

     The example being, but of course, the perception of White Vs Black. These perceptions are a result of two different prognostications: All Black people are criminals. And all White people are racist.

     Out of these misunderstandings you get the Black Lives Matter movement and its counterpoint: All Lives Matter. Both are correct in their assertions but are driven by a disconcerting bias both wield like a lethal weapon, changing the type of discourse we as a nation need to be having.

     The Black Lives Matter movement was spearheaded as a response to police violence and brutality. It says that Black people shouldn’t be targeted for being Black and that officers need to be held to a higher level of accountability. A sentiment that is completely reasonable but that in and of itself has approached its methods like all police and White people are the enemy. At least, this is how the movement is perceived from those outside of it.

     With the All Lives Matter movement, we have a direct response to the Black Lives Matter movement (And from here we get campaigns like Blue Lives Matter and the ill-conceived suggestion of a White Lives Matter movement in the works. But we’ll focus on the umbrella thought of All Lives Matter). The line of reasoning here being that you can’t just focus on one set of people. Everyone is important and deserve the same rights and respect. Which, again, is a reasonable line of thought.

     The biggest problem with these movements is their unwillingness to see through each other’s eyes. There are officers out there who are racist and more accountability is never a bad thing (though for some reason some would argue against that notion and would rather assume that authority would never turn on them). Yet, those officers make up only a small percentage of the police force and the truth is just as many incidents of police shooting unarmed White people occurs yearly as well. Though the media doesn’t help here as sensationalism is the big draw and a certain narrative must be maintained.

     Just the same there are Black people out there who do commit crimes as well. It’s a reality but one based in selectivity. And certainly the police need to be able to respond to criminal behavior be it breaking and entering, theft, rioting, or murder. There is a truth to be found in the facts that there is a large portion of Black youth who are criminals and do threaten members of society.

     I can hear it now. “That was the most racist thing I’ve ever read!” And that’s part of the problem. If we, as a society, are unable to discuss race related incidents without shouting “that’s racist” there will never be a solution to our ails. You’ll note that I didn’t say all Black people are criminals. Didn’t even say all Black youth are criminals. And I didn’t even suggest that it was a majority of Black youth. And this is because I don’t believe it to be true.

     In fact based on the data I’ve seen crimes as a whole tend to gravitate towards certain pockets of society. And just because one pocket is of a certain color does not imply it’s indicative of an ethnicity as a whole.

     Statistics will show fairly accurately that most crime is committed in heavy population centers. And those statistics are pretty consistent percentage wise over the various ethnicities guilty of perpetrating said crimes. (I’m not going to bore you with those stats here but you can find them quite easily via government and FBI websites. This is more an opinion piece and my thoughts than a paper on these issues though I can provide those stats if it becomes necessary.)

     Regardless of ethnicity commented on: White, Black, Asian, Native, Latino, etc, the list goes on, the data pretty consistently points to poverty and convenience as the main motivations of crime and that is the same across the board. Afterall, law enforcement didn’t just spring up overnight because a certain ethnicity moved in. It’s been necessary since the dawn of civilization because wherever you find humans, you find crime.

     So if we all experience the same issues, and stereotypes are driven by interactions with individuals and small groups (gangs, rednecks, hate groups, rioters, or however else we perceive these outliers) then why do we, as a species, cling to this belief that certain other people are just no good? Why do we cling to the idea that all muslims are terrorists despite knowing those are isolated groups of militants who are often ostracized even in their own homelands? Why do we continue to  harbor the ill feeling that all Jews are covetous and greedy despite the knowledge not every Jewish person is an accountant or lawyer or even have an opinion in political affairs? Let alone know how to balance their own checkbooks? Why does the notion linger that all Black people love watermelon and fried chicken when we know for a fact that EVERYONE loves watermelon and fried chicken? Ok, that last one is not factual just a strong feeling because KFC is not kept open by just Black folk.

     But now that we’ve opened that can of worms, why is there a perception that KFC is for White folk while Church’s is a Black establishment? They are both popular. Both good. And both prove that Americans love chicken.

     The problem, unfortunately, is the most simple thing yet the most complex aspect of being human: Us Vs Them. Or, in the most simple term, tribalism. Our species has its origins in surviving the elements through family groupings. And anything that wasn’t our family was a threat. And this mentality still seems to hold sway over civilization to this day.

     “If it doesn’t look like me, it doesn’t sound like us, it’s a threat to our way of life.” And that’s the view the individual in society seems to adopt. Because it’s simple. It’s far simpler to hate someone for being different than it is to accept them for who they are.

     It’s far easier to come up with a muslim ban because the assumption is all muslims are going to kill us and enforce sharia law rather than look to the socio economic issues that have led to militancy worldwide and try to solve THAT problem.

     It’s easier to ignore the Black Lives Matter movement in favor of an All Lives Matter movement because there’s no way there could be endemic issues with American values that would lead to the impoverished and left behind getting into conflicts with law enforcement. Because clearly poor people are poor because they want to be, right? And their issues with the police are a result of their own impulsive behavior. And therefore they have no respect for law enforcement.

     It’s far simpler to build a wall dividing the US from Mexico over fears we’re being overrun by illegal immigrants, than to really look at the problem and figure out why so many are taking the life and death risks of crossing the Rio Grande looking for opportunities and safety that they can’t find back home.

     It’s easier to say that we’re a Christian nation that’s the best nation in the world and turn our backs on those who are suffering most and pretend we still have the moral highground when we’re sacrificing everything we hold most precious out of fear than it is to acknowledge that every religious perspective holds wisdom and gives people a sense of security.

     Because that’s how tribalism works.

     It cares about nobody else but our own. If you’re not with us, you’re against us. And if you want to be with us then that means you were never one of us to begin with. And we further isolate ourselves and put ourselves in even more vulnerable positions as a result.

     Until we can resolve this inner state of chaos, I worry that we’ll never be able to truly solve the issues of our time.

     Issues like terrorism. Issues like nationalism. Issues like global warming. Issues like illegal immigration. Issues like racism and all the other –isms we have to contend with. Issues like dwindling supplies of fresh water and adequate sources of food production. All of it.

     Because, sadly, time is running out. And these issues are not just going to go away. We have to be able to discuss these problems rationally or we truly will lose ourselves to “them”. Only that “them” we’ll discover too late was always “us”.