ALL YOU FANS CAN BITE ME! I’M A CHILD OF THE 80’S!!

Jesus…I am SUCH a child of the 80s. I was just watching a video on Youtube that I completely disagreed with. It was ragging on Mass Effect Andromeda for…I don’t know, reasons I guess. And it dawned on me, holy shit, we were so much better off in the 80s. We VALUED what entertainment was. We watched those cheesy monster movies. We savored the stupid and the asinine. We knew that it didn’t have to change the world to get our jollies because we knew what FUN was.

And now? Well, now everyone is up in arms that women are in movies. That black people have a presence in entertainment. That games have glitches. Glitches!? I’ve got your glitches, bitches! Bitches, let me introduce you to the NES. A system where you had to BLOW it to make it work!

Oh I ‘m sorry?? Was there a graphical glitch in your modern game that you could still play even though your character looks like they’re taking a dump everywhere they go?? Let me demonstrate our system, friends! Yes, the NES where you have to blow into its crevice and then shove it into its slot and WIGGLE it until it was willing to play the freakin’ 40 dollar game you just bought!

Oh My God! There’s a WOMAN in your soup!!? Let me introduce you to Metroid, son, where your lead character just turned out to be a woman in a suit of armor! HOLY SHIT! EPIC!

I mean seriously…The Goonies, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, Duck Hunt, HOWARD the Fucking Duck, Monster Squad, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, SPACEBALLS, Time Bandits, Bad Dudes, Double Dragon, Jaws and all its dumbass sequels, One Crazy Summer, Thundercats, Jem, My Little Pony, Q Bert, and…goddamn the list could go on!

The point is is this (and listen well my little snuggle bunnies), back in the 80s, we knew what entertainment was. We didn’t sit there and try to offend one another and deride each other because we thought Transformers was a serious form of storytelling (IT’S NOT! STOP BASHING MICHAEL BAY FOR MAKING A FUCKING SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT OVERSIZED ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THIS IS NOT SHAKESPEARE, OR MARK TWAIN, OR ISAAC ASSIMOV! THIS IS A SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THAT’S WHAT MICHAEL BAY WAS MADE FOR! SO IF I HEAR ANOTHER PERSON SAYING HOW SHITTY A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WAS, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE IT’S A BUNCH OF ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE FREAKIN’ CARTOON WAAAASSSSS!!!! 80S MOTHUFUCKA!! DEAL WITH IT!) No what we did was go ‘Holy shit! Did you see that thing and how AWESOME it was!?’ And we would reply, ‘OMG! Right!? That was totally EPIC!’ Because unlike this current generation we grew up appreciating entertainment for what it was. Entertainment. We didn’t try to attribute any sort of special meaning to it, we were just glad that it was coherent HALF of the time.

For Christ’s sake! One of our Heroes in the 80s was a man wearing nothing more than a loin clothe smacking around a cackling skeleton with vaguely homo erotic undertones with supporting characters so obtuse you’d swear you were watching a porno these days! (He Man Mother Fuckers! Deal with it!)

And yet, you take your entertainment so seriously you can no longer suspend your disbelief? Luke Skywalker wouldn’t act that way? Deadpool isn’t being serious enough? SJWs are taking over our entertainment? I mean, can we stop. Just..just stop. This is bullshit. I’m calling BULLSHIT! SHENANIGANS! IT’S ALL SHENANIGANS!!! Because this is stupid. I go to movies to be entertained. When I’m entertained, I smile. You know what I do when I am NOT entertained? Not do it again and find something else. I keep hearing this phrase over and over again: liberal snowflakes or sometimes just snowflakes. You want to know what us guys from the 80s would tell ya? It takes one to know one.

You don’t like something, that’s fine. But STOP trying to ruin it for others you, you, you SNOWFLAKES! Because you don’t really know what it means to be entertained. You’re soooooo obsessed with what is ‘TRUE’ to the original story, you’ve forgotten how to just lean back and enjoy the ride.

I mean MY generation sat back and LOVED Top Gun! Do you know what happened in it? Nothing. It was just great character development with a half assed action scene at the end. But we LOVED it. Why? Because it ENTERTAINED us!!! Why can’t you be entertained anymore?!?! What are you looking for!??

Ugh. I’m tired. You people make my face tired. Sometime in the next few days I should rent the Transformers Last Knight movie. Just so I can see massive robots kicking the shit out of each other. Because that’s entertainment you rejects!!!

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FANDOMS ARE BECOMING TOO TOXIC

It’s really getting difficult to enjoy stories, games, and just general entertainment anymore. The Fandoms are getting waaaaayyyy out of hand and are ruining everything that I find fun. I loved Batman V Superman! I loved the direction the DC movies were going! But the DC Fandom wanted their movies to be MARVEL!!! I loved the fact that Marvel has becoming more comedic while their comics are often ultra serious. And it was great that, while DC comics were this ultra fun crazy material, that the movies were taking on a darker tone. It was great. But then again, I’m a huge Zach Snyder fan. 

BUT FANDOMS would punish me for that. Screaming that if I like Snyder, I’m some sort of-hack, and, of course, they’re all knowing and all right. It’s irritating just how…negative Fandoms are becoming. It’s happening again with Star Wars. The Last Jedi was an amazing movie with great ideas and a phenomenal execution! Yet the Fandom is losing their shit over it talking about how it’s ‘destroying Star Wars’!  So what it didn’t go the way you wanted it to! Do you HONESTLY believe that what YOU wanted to see would be the same thing that someone ELSE would want to see!? It’s impossible to please everyone. The old saying goes ‘you can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time’ but the Fandoms are going ‘Nope. You’re going to please all of us now! We hated how safe The Force Awakens was! And we hate how RISKY The Last Jedi is!’ And yet, there is no end to it.

Star Wars, The DC Snyder Verse, Ghostbusters Universe, Mass Effect,  and just so many other properties are being dug through the muck by their fans and honestly I’m starting to think ‘fuck it’ stop making movies, shows, and games. Because, obviously, people aren’t mature enough anymore to just enjoy something without making it the end of life as we know it! Shit, just look at Rick and Morty fans and tell me they’re not going NUTS!

Grrrrrrr!!! I just want to enjoy my stories without lunatics trying to tank everything I love! Get over yourselves, Fanboys! It ain’t all about you!

But that’s just my thoughts on it. I’m going to put up my written script to a video I’m doing on the Last Jedi in the next month or so. I have a lot of rage over this issue I think and all that rage is squarely on Fandoms. Because they just want to bitch anymore!

To Hell With The PC “Master Race”!

I am so SICK and tired of hearing how AWESOME the PC players are with their nonsense gaming experiences! Playing games on the PC fucking sucks! I mean completely! I have had enough of the obstinance from the PC community thinking they’re superior to the rest of us. I’m a console player through and through and there’s a reason why.

With a console I don’t have to worry about tweaking my damned game to work right. I don’t have to fine tune the details until it is visually acceptable. It works right when I put it in. The controllers do EXACTLY what they’re supposed to do! I don’t have to download this driver or that update. On a console it just does it! This is the disconnect between PC gamers and console gamers. PC gamers don’t understand WHY console gamers like their consoles.

“Well it’s outdated as soon as it releases!” And I say True! But I don’t have to spend 20 hours trying to get my software to work in the vein hope that there won’t be any issues at the end of the process. With a freaking PC I have to be a fucking programmer with advanced knowledge in C++ to make the goddamned game play. This is true for Steam products and EA products and any games that you have to download! Sure, y0u get to customize your experience but keep in mind this you, “master PC gamers”, those of us who like consoles like them because we DON’T have to be fucking programmers to play one fucking game!

It’s fucking ridiculous! If I buy a controller for the PC and plug it in, the mother fucker should work the second I plug it in! I shouldn’t have to find some obsolete driver that may or may not still exist on the internet just to use it! I shouldn’t have to update my windows os to some newer version I just don’t fucking want just to sample the newest game released! Plug N Play is a term for a reason jackasses! And it’s not for me to sit there and pretend I’m something I’m not and to be berated for not being on board with your bullshit to begin with!

What’s great about the PS4 or XBOX One is that you can just put in a game, plug in a controller, and sit back and enjoy the fucking game you just spent 70 dollars on without having to jump through a million hoops! I HATE, HAAATTTTTEEEE PC gaming! It is soooooooooo inconvenient and frustrating! There is NO fun to be had in it unless you’re some psychopath who has hours a day to spend on specking your rig to the optimal settings and knowing what graphical cards you need, what audio drives you need, what cooling systems are required to make your fucking PC actually fucking work!!!!

To HELL with that shit! Sorry for my obscenities but I’ve had enough! Stop claiming to be the superior gaming society when you have to go through a military boot camp just to play the latest release! It’s annoying and inconvenient! You want to know why so many gamers like console releases!? It’s because they don’t have to spec their PS4 or XBOX One every time they buy a game! They can just plug it in and it works! Period! After a dozen hours of just TRYING to sample a new game, I’ve entirely given up! It’s not worth the stress and agitation! It’s not worth the grief! I’ll stick to my consoles thank you fucking much and don’t you come at me anymore with your bullshit PC master race crap! Because I’ll just call you a sadist and a masochist who’s only happy to suffer under the most unbearable of electronic circumstances!

I just wanna play!

Anyhow…that annoys me sometimes so I won’t be doing that anymore. Just wanted to vent my frustration because, damn, it’s ridiculous. But, you know, if that’s your thing, more power to you.

Viva La Console Race!

Star Cloud Episode II Driving Mr Queasy

The second HD episode of Star Cloud!

I’ve been remaking all the original episodes, which are still up at vimeo.com, so that it can be viewed in HD and be less shaky and easier to view. Enjoy the episode and thanks for watching!

 

Copyright 2007-2013 CE Cosmic Fantasies and Screaming Cloud Studios

This Is My Blog

My oh my, I haven’t been on here i a while. Mostly because I keep forgetting I have it. I’m not much of a blogger. Though I do get fed up with so much in the news these days. Sometimes I have this desire to get online and vent out all my frustrations but then don’t even though I have a place to do it. Sigh. I signed up for this because I wanted to lock in a dot com addy for my company name but it takes so much of my time up just trying to get my original works done that I just don’t get around to utilizing the site much. I will have to change that I think. Hopefully anyway.

So what am I doing with my time? Well, when I’m not working at the devil’s corporation (I’m not naming names here because, let’s face it, all the corporations are devilish and care only for themselves and I have a family to feed), I steadily chug along on the two novels I’m writing and working on my animations. I do stop motion and write fantasy/fiction. These are hobbies right now and I hope one day to actually accomplish something with them. With my writing, I’m not approaching a publisher until I feel it is publishable and even then I will likely have so much reworking to do because of their needs at the time. With my animation, it’s so time consuming and novice looking that I don’t know what to do with it. Well, asides from posting it on youtube and here, of course.

I’m currently working on a new animation to post up to youtube. It is a sister series to my Star Cloud series called Silent Cloud. I’m trying to make it more original using characters I’ve developed specifically to lambast other well known video game and movie properties. Mostly video games and the RPG genre in general. It’s going to take me a while.

Elsewise, I recently got married so that’s slowing my progress down a bit. Just got back from our honeymoon in Boston. Awesome experience and so wish I could move there. Maybe in time. 

Anyhow, I’ll try doing this blogging thing more and see what I come up with. I’ll be posting links to my new videos periodically so stay tuned and if you’re actually reading this, thanks.

Cosmic Fantasies on youtube:  http://www.youtube.com/user/Caeliclord

Star Cloud/Silent Cloud on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWdU67nDn_UplIZnCS41WRA

Star Cloud: Season I: Episode I When Muppets Attack

The first full episode of my Star Cloud series!

Star Cloud Season I Episode I
When Muppets Attack

Cloud Strife finds himself abducted by space turtles and forced to become the new captain of the Muppet Ship (MS) Dorothy after an unfortunate incident involving the former captain, his ex-lover, and an electric dildo.

Thank you for watching and stay tuned for more STAR CLOUD! in HD.

Copyright 2007-2013 Cosmic Fantasies and Screaming Cloud Studios

All characters and situations depicted are parody and meant for entertainment purposes only. Any situations or peoples similar to those living, dead, or serious exist purely for satire and/or unintentionally.