ALL GOOD THINGS…

I’ve recently decided that YouTube isn’t much in the way of recognizing its creators anymore. So I’m stepping away from the platform for the time being to concentrate on writing my novel. I had planned on writing up my Last Jedi review ( a movie which I adore!) and a new Star Cloud series. But every video I try to post anymore is getting flagged for being ‘inappropriate’. Well, fuck you Youtube. I’ve been inappropriate since day one! And you care now?! Pffft. In the end it seems corporations are more ‘people’ than the people who keep corporations in business. Guess the world has gone all Vogon and all us little guys are just cockroaches running from the light.

BUT my novel is coming along swimmingly and I think it is good! Time will tell though if it has legs. Man, but am I tired of being at the behest of megacorporations. What is this? Judge Dredd level society? Ugh. I don’t even know anymore. I need to go to bed. I have to get up in the morning and go to work for a corporation so that they can make money and I can feel bad that I’m not them. It’s no wonder the Wild West has thematically been a growing theme lately. Everyone wants to be themselves not slaves to masters who think they know better.

Thanks for letting me vent.

~Timothy S Purvis

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Games Beaten As Of 2018

I thought it was time to share more of my accomplishments! I posted a list a few years back but I’ve had plenty of time since then to add to the list. So as of April 6th, 2018, these are the games I’ve beaten! (Bear in mind, there are some that aren’t so much “beaten” as they are turned over. In the case of the NHL games, I take it to my first Stanley Cup victory and consider that a ‘win’ since those games go on for eternity and don’t actually have a game over credit roll. Same is true of other sports games.) Even given those facts, I feel pretty accomplished for my list here! A list I started compiling back in the early 90s because, as a youth, I wanted to know just what games I’d finished. And it’s only grown longer since then. If you’re reading this, THANKS! Elsewise, this is purely for me!

COLOR CODING USED:

VERY FIRST GAME (IE GAME #1 BEATEN)

QUARTER NUMBERED GAMES (IE GAME #25, #50, #50 UP TO 100TH PLACE)

100TH PLACED GAMES (IE GAME #100, #200, #300, ETC ETC)

GENERAL GAMES BEATEN THAT MEET NO MILDSTONE

 

1987

Baseball        (#1)                                         NES

Wizards N Warriors                                    NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

1988

The Legend of Zelda                                    NES

Tiger Heli                                                      Rounded Out           NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

1989

Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest                   NES

Abadox                                                        w/code           NES

Astyanax                                                    w/code           NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  3

 1990

Dragon Spirit                                               NES

Dragon Warrior                                           NES

Pro Wrestling                                               NES

Bad Dudes                                                    w/code           NES

Robocop                                                        NES

Monster Party                                              NES

Skate Or Die                                                 Rounded Out               NES

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles                   ARC

TMNT 2: The Arcade Game                       NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

 1991

Faxanadu                                                      NES

Yo! Noid                                                        NES

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  2

 1992

Tiny Toon Adventures                                 NES                                                                March

TMNT 3: The Manhattan Project             NES                                                                March

Super C (Super Contra)                              w/code   NES                                                                April

Rescue Rangers                                            NES                                                                June

Ducktales                                                      NES                                                                July

Super Mario World                                     SNS                                                                 Aug

TMNT IV: Turtles in Time  (#25)              SNS                                                                 Sept

Quackshot                                                    GEN                                                               Oct

 Contra                                                         w/code          NES                                           Nov

Sonic The Hedgehog                                   GEN                                                               Dec

Xardion                                                         SNS                                                                 Dec

TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan                     GBY                                                                Dec

                                                                                                           Total For Time Period: 12

 1993

TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist                   GEN                                                               Jan

Buster Douglas Boxing                              GEN                                                               Jan

Krusty’s Super Funhouse                           SNS                                                                 Feb

Bases Loaded                                               GBY                                                                Feb

Bonk’s Adventure                                        TGS                                                                March

Super Castlevania IV                                  SNS                                                                 March

WWF: Royal Rumble                                  SNS                                         01                    June

Batman Returns                                           SNS                                        14                    June

Tiny Toon Adventures:  Buster’s Hidden Treasure        GEN                07                    July

The Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link              NES                30                    July

The Legend of Zelda III: A Link To The Past                  SNS                03                    Aug

Splatter House                                              TGS                                        18                    Aug

Jurassic Park                                                GEN                                       07                    Sept

Golden Axe                                                   SCD                                        15                    Oct

Silpheed                                                         SCD                                                                Nov

Mortal Kombat                                             SNS                                         09                    Nov

Starfox                                                           SNS                                                                 Nov

Robocop 2                                                     NES                                        15                    Nov

The Legend of Zelda IV: Link’s Awakening           GBY                          25                    Nov

Jurassic Park            (#50)                          SNS                                         14                    Dec

Sonic The Hedgehog 2                                GEN                                       28                    Dec

Chuck Rock II: Son of Chuck                     SCD                                                                Dec

                                                                                                            Total for Time Period: 22

 1994

Micro Machines                                           GEN                                       22                    Jan

Sonic The Hedgehog                                   SCD                                        03                    March

Sonic The Hedgehog 3                                GEN                                       05                    March

TMNT: Tournament Fighters                    GEN                                                               June

TMNT: Tournament Fighters                    SNS                                         14                    July

Cool Spot                                                      GEN                                       29                    Aug

Mortal Kombat II                                         SNS                                         13                    Sept

Sonic The Hedgehog: Sonic & Knuckles (1,2,3)     GEN                          01                    Nov

Donkey Kong Country                                SNS                                         24                    Dec

 Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition              GEN

                                                Raptor Ending                                              28                    Dec

                                                Grant Ending                                                29                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 10

 1995

Rock N Roll Racing                                     SNS

                                                Regular Ending                                            02                    Jan

                                                Warrior Ending                                            02                    Jan

                                                Veteran Ending                                            03                    Jan

Mario Andretti Racing                                GEN                                       10                    Jan

Robocop Vs Terminator                             SNS                                         22                    Jan

Sunset Riders                                                GEN                                                               June

Silver Surfer                                                  w/code           NES                04                    July

Rocket Knight Adventures                          GEN                                       10                    July

Lagoon                                                          SNS                                         15                    July

Zool 2                                                             JAG                                       

Super Mario Bros 3 (Mario All Stars)     SNS                                         10                    Aug

Super Mario Bros 2 (Mario All Stars)     SNS                                         27                    OCT

Chaotix                                                          32X                                                                 Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 11

 1996

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island      SNS                                         21                    Jan

Illusion of Gaia        (#75)                          SNS                                         31                    Jan

Super Mario RPG                                        SNS                                         06                    July

Tekken                                                           PSX                                                                Sept

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest           SNS                      11                    Sept

Super Mario 64                                            N64                                         17                    Oct

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

1997

Suikoden                                                        PSX                                        08                    June

Vandal Hearts                                              PSX                                        13                    June

Starfox 64                                                      N64                                         06                    July

Tomb Raider                                                 PSX                03:15 AM      01                    Sept

Final Fantasy VII                                        PSX                03:40 AM      12                    Sept

X-Men Vs. Streetfighter                              ARC                                        22                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

1998

Tomb Raider II                                             PSX                                        16                    Jan

Resident Evil 2                                             PSX

                                                Leon Ending                                                 04                    May

                                                Claire Ending                                                                       June

Tekken 3                                                        PSX                                        04                    May

X-Men Vs. Streetfighter (Import)              SAT                                                                 July

The Legend of Zelda V: Ocarina Of Time                  N64      01:25 AM      10             Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

1999

Resident Evil: Director’s Cut                    PSX

                                                Jill Valentine                                                01                    May

                                                Chris Redfield                                                                      May

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  1

2000

The Legend of Zelda VI: Majora’s Mask         N64                                15                    Nov

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis                            DRC                                       06                    Dec

Resident Evil: Code Veronica                   DRC                                       13                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  3

2001

Final Fantasy IX                                          PSX                                                                Apr

Legend of Dragoon                                     PSX                                                                Sept

Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver                     PSX                                                                Nov

Timesplitters                                                 PS2                                                                 Nov

Final Fantasy X                                           PS2                                                                 Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2002

Forgotten Realms: Baldur’s Gate (#100) PS2                                                                 Mar

Star Wars: Rogue Leader (Rogue Squadron II)       NGC                                               Apr

Resident Evil (Remake)                              NGC

                                                Jill Valentine                                                03                    May

                                                Chris Redfield                                                                      May

Starcraft                                                        CPU                                                               Aug

Timesplitters 2                                              NGC                                                               Oct

Halo                                                               XBX

                                                Normal Mode                                                                       Oct

                                                Legendary Mode                                                                 

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy      PS2                                                                 Nov

Dragonball Z: Budokai                              PS2                                                                 Nov

Silent Hill 2                                                   XBX

                                                Reg Game w/James: Walking Away                                 Nov

                                                Restless Dreams: Mary                                                       Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

2003

Resident Evil 0                                             NGC                                                               Feb

The Legend of Zelda VII: Windwaker      NGC                                       07                    Apr

Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic      XBX

                                                Light Side Ending                                        27                    July

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell                        XBX                                                                July

Metal Gear Solid                                         PSX                                                                Aug

Star Wars: Rebel Strike (Rogue Squadron III)       NGC                                              Sept

Soul Caliber II                 NGC       UsingLink                                                                  Nov

Final Fantasy X-2                                        PS2

                                                Standard Ending                                          25                    Dec

                                                Special Ending I                                                                   Dec

Kingdom Hearts                                           PS2                                         30                    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  9

2004

Silent Hill 3                                                   PS2

                                                Good Ending                                                02                    Jan

Beyond Good & Evil                                   PS2                                         02                    Feb

Silent Hill                                                      PSX

                                                Bad Ending                                                                           Mar

Devil May Cry                                              PS2                                                                 Mar

Thief: Deadly Shadows                               XBX                22:00 PM      05                    June

Star Ocean: Till The End of Time             PS2

                                                Pepito Ending                                                                       Aug

                                                Sophia Ending                                                                      Aug

                                                Nel Ending                                                                            Aug

Halo 2                                                            XBX

                                                Normal Mode                                               11                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  7

2005

Resident Evil 4         (#125)                        NGC               02:30 AM      03                    Feb

The Granstream Saga                                 PSX                17:30 PM      10                    Feb

Wild Arms 3                                                  PS2                 00:58 AM      14                    Mar

Silent Hill 4: the Room                               PS2                 00:31 AM      23                    Mar

Timesplitters: Future Perfect                    PS2                 21:10 PM      29                    Mar

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow      XBX     16:16 PM      30            Mar

Okage Shadow King                                    PS2                 00:29 AM      13                    Apr

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory      XBX         22:35 PM      13                    June

Haunting Ground                                        PS2

                                                Good Ending                        02:40 AM      28                    June

Arc The Lad: Twilight of Spirits                PS2                 03:15 AM      30                    June

Ico                                                                  PS2                 17:25 PM      06                    July

Xenosaga                                                      PS2                 18:45 PM      15                    July

Star Wars: KOTOR II: The Sith Lords     XBX

                                                Light Side Ending                14:10 PM      11                    Aug

Contra: Shattered Soldier                          PS2                 17:10 PM      15                    Aug

Jade Empire                                                 XBX

                                                Good Ending                        15:39 PM      17                    Aug

Ys VI: The Ark of Napishtim                      PS2                 15:40 PM      22                    Aug

Xenosaga II                                                   PS2                 23:52 PM      28                    Aug

Sly Cooper & The Thievus Raccoonus     PS2                 23:31 PM      02                    Sept

Sly 2: Band of Thieves                                PS2                 20:15 PM      09                    Sept

Jak II                                                              PS2                 20:45 PM      15                    Sept

Jak 3                                                               PS2                 17:32 PM      19                    Sept

Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves                     PS2                 18:27 PM      01                    Oct

Xenogears                                                     PSX                17:25 PM      14                    Oct

Mercs (Capcom collection)                        PS2                 15:29 PM      19                    Oct

Forgotten Worlds                                        PS2                 14:19 PM      20                    Oct

1943 KAI (Capcom Collection)     (#150) PS2                 11:05 AM      11                    Nov

Wild Arms                                                     PSX                15:11 PM                              Dec

Wild Arms 2nd Ignition                                PSX                13:01 PM      22                    Dec

Ratchet & Clank                                          PS2                                                                 Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 29

2006

Sailor Moon S (Import)                              SGG               18:51 PM      05                    Feb

Wild Arms: 4th Detonator                           PS2                 01:47 AM      22                    Feb

Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King

                                                                        PS2

                                                Normal Ending                     00:50 AM      22                    Mar

                                                Special Ending                     12:13 AM      01                    May

Legend of Heroes IV: A Tear of Vermilion        

                                                                        PSP                18:37 PM      31                    Mar

 Kingdom Hearts II                                     PS2

                                                Standard Ending                  20:54 PM      04                    Apr

                                                Special Ending                     02:23 AM      26                    Apr

Thief: The Dark Project                             CPU               18:29 PM      14                    June

Radiata Stories                                             PS2

                                                Non-Human Ending            23:17 PM      18                    June

Star Ocean: The 2nd Story                           PSX

                                                Rena/Claude Ending           23:45 PM      06                    July

Grandia III                                                    PS2                 14:06 PM      21                    July

Heroes of the Pacific           Pilot               PS2                 15:43 PM      31                    July

Darkwatch                            Cowboy         PS2                 18:58 PM      02                    Aug

Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus      PS2

                                                Hard                                       23:36 PM      18                    Aug

                                                Special Ending                     16:04 PM      20                    Aug

Xenosaga III: Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)

                                                                        PS2                 00:15 AM      20                    Sept

Final Fantasy XII                                        PS2                 00:55 AM      24                    Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 14

2007

Rogue Galaxy                                               PS2                 12:42 AM      27                    Apr

Splinter Cell: Double Agent                       360                 01:34 AM      18                    July

Prey                                                                360                 22:30 PM      28                    Aug

Blue Dragon                                                 360                 22:00 PM      16        Sun     Sept

 Blazing Angels                     Veteran          360                 00:06 AM      25        Tue     Sept

Halo 3                                    Normal          360                 23:56 PM      26        Wed    Sept

Bioshock                                Normal          360

                                                Little Sister Savior               22:54 PM      08        Thu     Nov

Assassin’s Creed      (#175)                        360                 03:45 AM      30        Fri      Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  8

2008

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare              360

                                                Normal                                  01:57 AM      20        Thu     Mar

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed             360

                                                Light Side                              13:20 PM      28        Fri      Nov

Mirror’s Edge                      Normal          360                 01:39 AM      25        Thu     Dec

Silent Hill Homecoming     Normal          360                 02:40 AM      26        Fri      Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  4

2009

Star Ocean: The Last Hope                        360                                                                 Mar

Star Ocean: First Departure                     PSP                19:30 PM      08        Wed    Apr

Mass Effect                                                   360                 01:56 AM      02        Sat      May

Resident Evil 5                                             360                 02:53 AM      11        Mon    May

Shadow of the Colossus                              PS2                 20:40 PM      06        Thu     Aug

Steambot Chronicles                                   PS2                 00:00 AM      22        Sat      Aug

Max Payne                                                    PS2                 13:30 PM      18        Fri      Sept

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne      PS2                 00:26 AM      06        Tue     Oct

Dead Space                                                   360                 19:34 PM      06        Fri      Nov

Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core                   PSP                01:01 AM      08        Sun     Nov

Assassin’s Creed II                                      360                 13:35 PM      23        Mon    Nov

Silent Hill Origins                                       PS2                 11:14 AM      07        Mon    Dec

Assassin’s Creed Bloodlines                      PSP                15:10 PM      08        Tue     Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 13

2010

Final Fantasy IV                                          NDS                19:22 PM      31        Sun     Jan

Mass Effect 2                                                360                 02:18 AM      02        Tue     Feb

Final Fantasy XIII                                       360                 00:36 AM      07        Wed    Apr

Final Fantasy                                               PSP                19:00 PM      22        Thu     Apr

Silent Hill Shattered Memories                 PS2                 15:15 PM      22        Fri      Oct

Assassin’s Creed II: Brotherhood            PS3                 00:36 AM      01        Wed    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  6

2011

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune                     PS3                 21:38 PM      18        Tue     Jan

Dead Space 2            Normal (#200)          PS3                 19:54 PM      01        Tue     Feb

Dead Space: Extraction                             PS3                 14:08 PM      09        Wed    Feb

Bioshock 2                                                     PS3                 23:07 PM      11        Fri      Nov

Assassin’s Creed II: Revelations              PS3                 17:37 PM      17        Thu     Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2012

Mass Effect 3                                                360                 18:15 PM      09        Fri      Mar

Silent Hill Downpour                                  PS3                

                                                Normal Ofr.Imprisoned      15:15 PM      24        Tue     Apr

Uncharted 2: Honor Among Thieves        PS3                 22:37 PM      06        Sun     May

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim                      PS3                 19:15 PM      29        Tue     May

Assassin’s Creed III                                    PS3                 21:20 PM      04        Sun     Nov

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period:  5

 2013

Batman: Arkham Asylum                            PS3                 01:26 AM      04        Fri      Jan

Dishonored                                                   PS3                

                                                Good Ending                        16:40 PM      15        Fri      Feb

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time                      PS3                 21:29 PM      27        Wed    Feb

Bioshock: Infinite                                        PS3                 19:35 PM      01        Mon    Apr

Tomb Raider                                                 PS3                 16:17 PM      14        Tue     May

The Simpsons Arcade                                  360                 21:37 PM      28        Tue     May

The Last of Us                                              PS3                 01:12 AM      05        Fri      July

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag               PS3                 20:20 PM      10        Sun     Nov

One Night                                                      CPU               02:52 AM      21        Thu     Nov

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period:  9

2014

Red Dead Redemption                                PS3                 01:45 AM      03        Fri      Jan

Heavy Rain                                                   PS3                 03:34 AM      10        Fri      Jan

                                                ~Jayden dies

                                                ~Shaun saved

Saints Row IV                                               PS3                 02:40 AM      04        Tue     Feb

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception              PS3                 01:46 AM      05        Wed    Feb

Injustice: Gods Among Us                         PS4                 00:05 AM      15        Sat      Feb

Outlast                                                           PS4                 20:24 PM      19        Wed    Feb

Thief                                                               PS4                 21:55 PM      04        Tue     Mar

South Park: Stick of Truth (#225)             PS3                 02:28 AM      07        Fri      Mar

Lone Survivor                                               PS3                 02:52 AM      07        Mon    Apr

Assassin’s Creed IV.2: Freedom Cry          PS4                 02:22 AM      13        Sun     Apr

Assassin’s Creed III.2: Liberation HD      PS3                 01:48 AM      17        Thu     Apr

Thomas Was Alone                                     PS3                 01:20 AM      22        Tue     Apr

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II          PS3                

                                                Light Side                              11:09 PM      08        Thu     May

Dead Space 3                                                PS3                 03:09 AM      20        Tue     May

Wolfenstein The New Order                       PS4                 03:18 AM      31        Sat      May

Mickey Mouse Castle of Illusion               PS3                 00:46 AM      03        Tue     Jun

P.T. [Silent Hills Teaser]                             PS4                 17:10 PM      25        Mon    Aug

Soundless Mountain II                               CPU               01:00 AM      09        Mon    Dec

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 18

2015

Assassin’s Creed IV.3: Rogue                   PS3                 03:56 AM      03        Sat      Jan

NHL 13 [Stanley Cup Winner]                  PS3                 02:05 AM      09        Fri      Jan

Assassin’s Creed V: Unity                          PS4                 22:34 PM      11        Sun     Jan

NHL 14                                                          PS3

                        Memorial Cup                                                                                              Jun

Tomb Raider and the Temple of Osiris    PS4                 18:00 PM      10        Tue     Nov

King’s Quest          PS4            Chapter 1                         23:05 PM      24        Thu     Dec                

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 6

                                                                                                            Total All Time:          241

 2016

Firewatch                                                      PS4                 05:16 AM      08        Tue     March

Until Dawn                                                   PS4                 22:41 PM      04        Thurs  Aug

                                    Mostly Dead

Life Is Strange                                              PS4                 22:12 PM      12        Wed    Oct

                                                                                                            Total For Time Period: 3

                                                                                                            Total All Time:          244

 2017

Final Fantasy XV                                         PS4                 01:38 AM      06        Fri      Jan

Resident Evil VII                                          PS4                 23:25 PM      08        Wed    Feb

Mass Effect: Andromeda                            PS4                 19:09 PM      07        Fri      Apr

Passportout                                                  PC                  23:34 PM      09        Fri      Jun

South Park Fractured But Whole              PS4                 13:51 PM      21        Sat      Oct

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 5

 2018

Assassin’s Creed Origins   (#250)            PS4                 23:42 PM      06        Sat      Jan

Horizon Zero Dawn                                    PS4                 22:18 PM      06        Fri      Apr

                                                                                                             Total For Time Period: 2

                                                                                                            Total All Time:         251

THANKS FOR READING!!

ALL YOU FANS CAN BITE ME! I’M A CHILD OF THE 80’S!!

Jesus…I am SUCH a child of the 80s. I was just watching a video on Youtube that I completely disagreed with. It was ragging on Mass Effect Andromeda for…I don’t know, reasons I guess. And it dawned on me, holy shit, we were so much better off in the 80s. We VALUED what entertainment was. We watched those cheesy monster movies. We savored the stupid and the asinine. We knew that it didn’t have to change the world to get our jollies because we knew what FUN was.

And now? Well, now everyone is up in arms that women are in movies. That black people have a presence in entertainment. That games have glitches. Glitches!? I’ve got your glitches, bitches! Bitches, let me introduce you to the NES. A system where you had to BLOW it to make it work!

Oh I ‘m sorry?? Was there a graphical glitch in your modern game that you could still play even though your character looks like they’re taking a dump everywhere they go?? Let me demonstrate our system, friends! Yes, the NES where you have to blow into its crevice and then shove it into its slot and WIGGLE it until it was willing to play the freakin’ 40 dollar game you just bought!

Oh My God! There’s a WOMAN in your soup!!? Let me introduce you to Metroid, son, where your lead character just turned out to be a woman in a suit of armor! HOLY SHIT! EPIC!

I mean seriously…The Goonies, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Super Mario Bros, Metroid, Duck Hunt, HOWARD the Fucking Duck, Monster Squad, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, SPACEBALLS, Time Bandits, Bad Dudes, Double Dragon, Jaws and all its dumbass sequels, One Crazy Summer, Thundercats, Jem, My Little Pony, Q Bert, and…goddamn the list could go on!

The point is is this (and listen well my little snuggle bunnies), back in the 80s, we knew what entertainment was. We didn’t sit there and try to offend one another and deride each other because we thought Transformers was a serious form of storytelling (IT’S NOT! STOP BASHING MICHAEL BAY FOR MAKING A FUCKING SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT OVERSIZED ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THIS IS NOT SHAKESPEARE, OR MARK TWAIN, OR ISAAC ASSIMOV! THIS IS A SERIES OF MOVIES ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! THAT’S WHAT MICHAEL BAY WAS MADE FOR! SO IF I HEAR ANOTHER PERSON SAYING HOW SHITTY A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WAS, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE IT’S A BUNCH OF ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE FREAKIN’ CARTOON WAAAASSSSS!!!! 80S MOTHUFUCKA!! DEAL WITH IT!) No what we did was go ‘Holy shit! Did you see that thing and how AWESOME it was!?’ And we would reply, ‘OMG! Right!? That was totally EPIC!’ Because unlike this current generation we grew up appreciating entertainment for what it was. Entertainment. We didn’t try to attribute any sort of special meaning to it, we were just glad that it was coherent HALF of the time.

For Christ’s sake! One of our Heroes in the 80s was a man wearing nothing more than a loin clothe smacking around a cackling skeleton with vaguely homo erotic undertones with supporting characters so obtuse you’d swear you were watching a porno these days! (He Man Mother Fuckers! Deal with it!)

And yet, you take your entertainment so seriously you can no longer suspend your disbelief? Luke Skywalker wouldn’t act that way? Deadpool isn’t being serious enough? SJWs are taking over our entertainment? I mean, can we stop. Just..just stop. This is bullshit. I’m calling BULLSHIT! SHENANIGANS! IT’S ALL SHENANIGANS!!! Because this is stupid. I go to movies to be entertained. When I’m entertained, I smile. You know what I do when I am NOT entertained? Not do it again and find something else. I keep hearing this phrase over and over again: liberal snowflakes or sometimes just snowflakes. You want to know what us guys from the 80s would tell ya? It takes one to know one.

You don’t like something, that’s fine. But STOP trying to ruin it for others you, you, you SNOWFLAKES! Because you don’t really know what it means to be entertained. You’re soooooo obsessed with what is ‘TRUE’ to the original story, you’ve forgotten how to just lean back and enjoy the ride.

I mean MY generation sat back and LOVED Top Gun! Do you know what happened in it? Nothing. It was just great character development with a half assed action scene at the end. But we LOVED it. Why? Because it ENTERTAINED us!!! Why can’t you be entertained anymore?!?! What are you looking for!??

Ugh. I’m tired. You people make my face tired. Sometime in the next few days I should rent the Transformers Last Knight movie. Just so I can see massive robots kicking the shit out of each other. Because that’s entertainment you rejects!!!

WE’RE NOT ALONE, THEY’RE JUST AS STUPID AS US

A BIZARRE THOUGHT crept into my head today. The thought was preceded by a notion. With all our great potential, we still need another million years or so before we’re fit to be an intergalactic civilization. Aliens avoid our world (for the most part) because we’re little more than animals. Smart animals but animals nonetheless. We let pettiness and division dictate our interactions. Every few years to a decade, it seems, we’re involved  in another war. The threat of nuclear oblivion has become ever more constant as our alleged ‘leaders’ learn how to play nice with one another.

We have the great ability to create fantastic technologies, and then get absorbed playing with them and obsessed with the economic benefits that tech might deliver. Yet seldom do we consider how to utilize our talents beyond the narrow scope of our individual lives. Our base emotions drive everything we do. Politics, families, conversations. Survival. Fear, greed, pride, anger, hate…all of these emotions served us well in the wild by helping us survive (for it would be necessary when dealing with predators and threats). Darwinism at its best.  Yet, for an advanced society to evolve to a point that it can survive in space requires a certain level of compassion and cooperation we have yet to attain. To fully claim these attributes would have to take anywhere from half a million years, at the least, to over a million depending on the state of our civilization at the time. (And I’m talking about deep space exploration here, not just inner planetary in a single solar system which in itself will take centuries to get right).

And this notion is what brought me to my bizarre thought: The galaxy, and indeed the universe, must be teeming with life, even intelligent.  But for an advanced civilization to reach its peak and become intergalactic must be extraordinarily rare. And my opinion on why this is, is because: they’re all as stupid as us. Not unintelligent stupid unable to comprehend information and develop knowledge and kind of just survive without any thought, but rather the kind of stupid that makes someone think taking a selfie on the side of a skyscraper is a good idea, or that surfing on top of a car going fifty is cool, or that speeding around a car at a red light and into traffic is clever, or the notion that building nuclear arsenals will somehow maintain world peace. Why haven’t we made contact with alien life? Because they’re all dead…or at the least still evolving and developing technologies. This thought is because if we are willing to engage in this foolishness, then it’s a far gone conclusion that this is likely a common element in the evolution of advanced sentient life. And let’s face it it’s quiet out there. It’s quiet not because they don’t exist but because they just didn’t make it. A fate we face just as implicitly now as at any point in our long, sad history.

Whatever civilizations ARE space faring and intergalactic, though, likely won’t want anything to do with us.  We’re too primitive and destructive to boot. Sure, they might drop by out of curiosity (or to keep a close eye on our progression because a galactic community won’t want ultra aggressive sentients traipsing about their back yard. Well, at least not without a leash.) Because whoever those people are who’ve mastered gravity and space and the ability to survive in an inhospitable environment indefinitely, have probably seen a civilization or two wipe itself out. Have probably studied the reasons why they failed and what traits to look for in emerging civilizations. Perhaps the lights we see in the sky are those scouts, those scientists, those zoologists curious if we ourselves will make it or fade into the dark like so many others. 

A sobering thought really. That maybe we’re so inept that we’re just a stopping point of minor interest with bets being waged of where we’ll be in the next five hundred years.

No, the sad pathetic truth of it is probably that we’re surrounded by sentient, intelligent beings on worlds too far to reach as of yet, and we just lack the means to detect them. And they probably can’t detect us either. It’s like two stranded people on disparate islands in an ocean trying to contact one another with messages in a bottle. Maybe they’ll see those bottles but likely won’t. They’re not sure there’s anyone else out there, but there’s that hope. And for the advanced civilizations who see us both and don’t interact? Perhaps it’s because they’re worried we’ll react to them just in the same way uncontacted island natives react to us: With aggression and fear. Maybe the view by them is one of uncertainty as well. Do they help us? Save us from ourselves knowing the doom we might invite any moment? Or stand back and observe? Be an distanced academic who knows what awaits but doesn’t want to challenge the natural way of life? If you think we don’t face that conundrum, think again. Those same natives I mentioned face rising sea levels and are hostile as all get out. But the question becomes, do we try to preserve them? Or let nature take its course? 

It is the very reason why an advanced civilization would pass us over. If we’re not worthy enough to figure out how to survive on one miserable ball of dirt, how would anyone expect us to get on with a galactic community?

Will we make it to evolve half a million years or more? Who the hell knows. Sometimes I worry we won’t make it to the end of the century.  But what I do know for certain, if we DO manage to survive the necessary amount of time to evolve, whatever advanced intergalactic race is out there will be glad to see us then. And only then.

Chapter One Of My New Novel

I won’t give the title yet. But I’ve been working on this for the last year. And sure, it’s only nine chapters, but those nine chapters are 170 pages long of a book that will likely be over 400.  The editing process will likely be long, yay, but there will be a lot more fleshed out as I go along. Especially in this first chapter. I enjoy it, but I know that, though it’s what I want it to be, there are aspects that need to fit better with what I’ve been writing. So enjoy and feel free to leave comments on what you thought worked and what didn’t. If you liked it, if you hated it, go hog wild. And I’ll see what I can do to make it even better. Thanks for reading.

1 REVENGE

SHE STOOD PARALYZED, a hand wrapped tightly around her throat and her face pressed firmly against the cold, grainy surface of a building wall. A hungry chuckle and foul breath caressed her neck and ears. She closed her eyes and felt her skirt sliding up her thighs. A small sound tried to escape her throat as she gritted her teeth.

     “Now stop yer whimperin. You and I both know how much yer gonna enjoy this.”

     She pursed her lips together and tried to stifle her sobs and braced herself for the inevitable violation of her body. What she didn’t expect was a splash of wetness across her right cheek and a gurgling gasp. She found herself spun around and saw a woman in a long trenchcoat holding a blade in her right hand covered in blood. And at her feet was the shuddering form of her tormentor holding his throat gasping his last breaths. She lifted her eyes to her rescuer but, before she could utter a word, heard the man’s two companions coming down the alley.

     “Hey, Gil. How long you gonna take ta- Oh, shit!”

     In a flash, the blade dropped from the woman’s hand only to be instantly replaced by a vicious looking pistol. Two shots rang out and the first man’s eye and chest exploded. A split second later the woman was twisting behind her and had another pistol in her left hand. Two more shots rang out before the second companion could draw his arm. Both shots pierced his heart before the first man had even hit the ground.

     “Wh…uh…” she stuttered as the woman reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

     “No time to dawdle. Git up those stairs and find somewhere to hole up,” the woman said pressing her forward. “Don’ come out til the shootin’s done stopped.”

     She rushed up the alleyway stairs to the waiting door and only once there glanced back to see the woman heading towards the alley entrance, her coat whipping in the wind like the fury of hell. A volley of shots rang out and she darted inside, hesitating no longer.

 

ONE, TWO, THREE… Aidele counted, downing the third and taking cover behind a barrel as two more thugs jumped out of a doorway and opened fire. They sought cover themselves as she darted behind a trough shooting at them at the same time. The shots exploded on the barrels they were taking cover behind and the two returned a volley. She paused as they cut loose and then jumped up as soon as they had stopped to find her mark on their shoulders, gut, and necks. They dropped and she hurried across the dusty street hearing the shouting of more thugs fast approaching.

     Including the three in the alley, those three before, and these idiots, that makes eleven. Only fourteen more remaining. No worries, Aidele. She rushed inside an open doorway and up a flight of stairs. Crouching low she quietly went down to the end of a small hallway where an open window looked down on an alley between the buildings. Two gunslingers walked by slowly below and she crawled out the window onto a slender crossbeam to fire twice, one per man. Both head shots. Both fell. Screaming and shouting came from beyond the alley from towards a series of adjoining buildings. She quickly balanced across the crossbeam to the next building as three more men arrived.

     Twelve and thirteen. Twelve to go. Inside the building, she ducked down and placed her back against the wall and cautiously peered out the window ledge to see the three men standing over their fallen comrades.

     “Aw balls, Lou! What we gonna do?” one of the three shook his head mournfully.

     “Ah tells ya what we should do, fuck this! High tail it outta town! Make fer the hills!”

     “You stow that talk, Merus! Jus’ one gal with a burr up her ass! There’s more’n enough o’ us left ta put her down!”

     The one called Merus walked in a tight circle around the two dead men.

     “Yeah? Well if’n you ain’t noticed there’s fewer o’ us left ta fight with!”

     “Don’ matter. We gonna-”

     Aidele popped up and unloaded on the three men. Lou went down first, his head erupting in a shower of blood and brains. Merus and the other started firing up at her. Three shots penetrated the one man’s upper shoulder and chest and he fell onto his back growling in pain.

     “Elson!” Merus shouted and backed up against the wall of the building Aidele was in and fired blindly up at her. Elson gurgled loudly and went still.

     “She’s up in the ole whore house!” Merus shouted and received angry yells in response.

Aidele dropped down into a crouch, cursing her luck, and made to reload. She heard the doors burst open downstairs and a lot of shouting came up towards her.

     Fifteen fer sure. Missed that damned Merus feller! Ah’ll get back ta dat one… She cocked her pistol and rushed towards the stairs where a man was coming up. He saw her and pointed his gun but she made short work of him. She heard a thud and a hiss and turned to see an explosive had been lobbed in through a window at her and came to rest only a few feet away from her position.

     “Shit!” she cried out and ducked into the room behind her, kicking the door shut as she landed on her back. She heard several men coming up the stairwell and an explosion in quick order. The voices screamed in pain falling back down the stairs while another screamer seemed to be flying by the room and out into the alleyway where quiet gurgling protests followed. In front of her, the wall crumbled under the stress yet somehow still stood.

     Damn good thing these shelves are so sturdy. She got to her feet and went deeper into the room where she saw two women whimpering and huddling in a closet.

     “Ladies. Be sure to stay put now,” and at that jumped out the rear window and onto a roof running from the brothel and towards a saloon. She made for the upper story of the saloon as a flurry of gunshots chased her, zinging off the stony surfaces around her feet.

     “She’s back here and still kickin!” a man called after his cohorts.

     She fired at him taking out a knee and, as he fell to the ground writhing in agony, shot into his chest. Then four more men rounded the corner and joined in on the action. Aidele jumped through the upper floor saloon window as gunfire ricocheted all across the frame. She stood up to see two men trying to play cards on a small table hunkered down as small as possible.

     “Miss, I’d just as soon not be involved in this if’n you don’ mind.”

     She tugged on the brim of her hat, “You gents don’ mind me. Just passin’ through.”

     Aidele rushed down the outside hall and towards a room over looking the far street and shut the door behind her. She made to the window and crouched low by the sill.

     How many still left? Lost count, dammit. Pretty sure Ah got seventeen of ‘em at least…eighteen?

     In the open street below she saw half a dozen men taking cover and looking to be trying to surround the saloon. Then she saw him. He strolled out into the clearing just across the street as if this were just another walk in the park.

     “Ms. Wilson!” he called out and came to a stop between two of his men. “Ah assume that’s you causin’ all this ruckus. Don’t gotta be this way, y’know. Why donchu come on out an’ we discuss this civilly?”

     She squinted and felt the anger crossing her brow. Her lips drew taught and she lifted her weapon. She fired taking his hat off as he quickly ducked behind an overturned carriage.

     “Ah’m guessin’ you ain’t in the talkin’ mood!” he caustically replied. “Well? Whatchu waitin’ fer? Git on up in there!”

     His henchmen hesitantly looked at him and reluctantly rushed towards the saloon. Aidele smiled and felled a man with one shot. She didn’t get another as a volley of fire rang the window and she rushed out of the room, slinging the door open, and seeking better cover.

     As she exited the room she saw several saloon patrons looking for a safe hiding spot. She ignored them and found a room next to a stairwell that was also connected on its other side to a balcony running across the building to another section of rooms beyond.

     Aidele took cover by the balcony doorway and looked out to see the entrance where what looked like the rest of his men were arriving, with two splitting off and running under the balcony to presumably out back.

     Don’ worry, I ain’ escaping. Hmm…Aidele’s last stand. Ain’ backin’ down now you sumabitch! The men started overturning tables and taking cover behind them. A flurry of patrons rushed out of the saloon as fast as their feet would carry them.

     The boss man hurried inside and hid behind a post.

     “Aidele!” he shouted. “Why ya hidin’ now!? Thought ya had unfinished business wit’ me!?”

     “Maybe she just runned off? Out the back?” a thug closer to the bar said back to his boss.

     “Nah. She ain’ runnin’. Eddgis and Potts in dar rear. An’ we ain’ heard shit from ‘em yet,” the boss said.

     “Maybes they dead?”

     She saw one man rush underneath the balcony in a low crouch and heard a door swing open.

     “You boys seen ‘er?” a muffled call.

     “Nope. Ain’ showed hide nor hair.”

     That man returned, “They says-“

     “Ah heard ‘em,” the boss said.

     “We should jus’ burn ‘er out, boss,” another thug spoke from behind a table.

     “Now might be that’s a good idea,” the boss started. “Ya hear that, Wilson?! Ya don’ come down here, we gonna burn the place down! Damn shame. Fond of this saloon.”

     Aidele frowned and heard creaking coming from down the hallway. She quickly repositioned to beside the doorframe she came through and waited while silently drawing her blade from her boot. A gun peeked in through the door followed in short order by one of the boss’s goons. Before he could blink she sliced her blade across his throat and darted into the hall to see his backup. The blade left her hand and flung blade first into the man’s neck. His gun fired up into the ceiling and she rushed towards him grabbing his body. She held him up right and placed a hand on the shaft of the blade still sticking out of his neck. He tried to gurgle and collapse but she held him up and pushed him forward as she guided from behind.

     “Shh. Don’ say notin’. I’ll lead if’n you don’ mind.”

     “What’s going on up there!? Boys!?”

     “Ah’m comin’ down!” she replied to the boss and positioned the man at the top of the stairs.

     She pushed forward trying not to let him slip from her grasp and ran down the stairwell. Gunfire immediately erupted pelting the hapless man in the chest. Aidele let go and drew her two guns and began firing as she leapt behind the bar just at the base of the stairs. She targeted the guys nearest the bar first. They went down quickly.

     Screw it! Three left! He musta picked up some more men! She dropped low as the firing continued and leapt to her feet to lay siege to the men she saw briefly. Guess those two upstairs were the backup out back. What a pity. Here I come, you bastard.

     She fell back down behind the bar as an eerie silence fell across the interior of the saloon. She felt a sharp pain in her right shoulder and saw that a shot had grazed her. She flexed her hand and saw she could still grip and put it out of her mind.

     Deal with it later.

     “Hot damn, woman, you can shoot,” the boss sighed. “Let’s finish this.”

     She heard the three men walk to the center of the room. The clump of their boots stopped. And she held the nose of her pistols flat against her forehead, pushing her hat up just a bit.

     “Whachu say, Wilson? Ya got spirit, ah’ll give ya that,” he let out a loud sighing grunt. “You should know, killin’ yer papi tweren’t nothin’ personal.”

     “Was ta me,” she replied and placed one pistol back in its holster so that she could reach into a coat pocket. She pulled out an object with her right hand and looked at it with conviction.

     “All gotta go sometime. Muswell go with our boots on,” she heard him say gruffly.

     She nodded at that, “Truer words were never spoken.”

     In a blur of motion, Aidele jumped to her feet bringing the small round object to bear and tossed it towards the three men. Nearly an instant later she brought up her one pistol as the three men took aim. The device split in half as it approached them and the two halves spun into each henchmen on either side of the boss and detonated in their chests. Their guts sprayed all over the boss who covered his face as Aidele fired four shots: one disarming him, one into his left shoulder, one into his belly, and one just above his heart.

     The boss fell onto his back and all went quiet save for his groaning and the outside murmurings from locals gathered around waiting to know what came next.

     Aidele walked towards the boss deliberately slow, kicking his weapon away from his reach. Her pistol was held out at an angle before her and at his face. The boss smiled at her and gave a slight nod. His grizzled and heavily mustached face were covered in blood and spittle.

     “Well, whatchu waitin’ fer? Ya gots what ya come fer,” he coughed a slight chuckle. “The full weight of mah crew an’ ya mow through us like cattle grazin’. Color me impressed, Ms. Wilson.”

     A scowl crossed Aidele’s face, ”Don’ want yer accolades. Only thing Ah want is ya lookin’ me in mah eyes as Ah do ya in.”

     He looked straight into her eyes, the life already fading, “Ya can do’s with me what ya will. But they’s never gonna forgit about that-“

     A shot rang out and his face shattered under the force. Aidele blew on the tip of her iron and holstered it.

     “Din’t say nothin’ ‘bout talkin’ neither.”

     She turned and exited the building. Onlookers stared at her, some whooping, as she walked between them and headed towards the far end of town where her steed was tied up.

 

IT’D BEEN QUIET for far too long. Then the cheers and hollering had begun. She wasn’t sure what that meant but the young woman decided since the gunfire had long since stopped that now was as good a time as ever to leave her hiding spot and to head back out into the alleyway.

     As she walked down the stairs she could hear a crowd of people rushing down the street. Her assailants from before were still lying where they fell, and she took great care not to step on them or their drying blood as she headed out towards the alley entrance.

     Several people were passing by smiling, and the young woman stopped them.

     “What happened?”

     The woman in the bonnet turned to her and took her shoulders.

     “You didn’t hear, Lilybell? Kern Micheals and his gang are dead! We’re free!”

     The woman and her companion laughed and continued walking down the street.

     “He’s dead?” Lilybell whispered and saw a familiar figure crossing the street a ways. It was the woman who’d saved her from Kern’s thugs. Lily decided to follow her as she made her way down a long street to the far side of town. Lily wasn’t the only one. A dozen others came out to wave their hats at her as she found her steed and mounted up.

     Lily wanted to say something to the woman but didn’t know what. She only ended up across the street from the woman among a crowd of onlookers and saw the town mayor rushing up to the stranger.    

     “Miss! Miss!” he cried out and stopped before the woman who only looked down at him. “You’ve done us all a great favor! I’d be honored to offer you the badge of sheriff given that damned Kern wiped out our lawmen when he rode in. We need strong law minded individuals such as yourself taking care of business!”

     The mayor smiled and the woman frowned, “Tweren’t nothin’ to do with the law, sir. Simply owed that coward a personal response.”

     She began to ride away but he stepped in front of her steed, “Well…uh…oh at least tell us the name of our erstwhile hero!”

     She paused for a long moment, “Aidele Wilson.”

     “Three cheers for Ms. Aidele Wilson!” the mayor shouted to the crowd. “Hip hip!”

     “Hooray!” the crowd joined in and then shouted twice more as Aidele shook her head and rode near Lily.

     Lily looked up at her and caught her eyes, “Thank you.”

     Aidele tugged on the brim of her hat, “Ma’am.”

     And with that, the woman kicked her steed into motion and headed out of town. Lily watched her disappearing out into the wasteland beyond and thought, One day, I’m gonna be just like her. Nobody ever’s gonna take advantage of me again. Not ever.

I’M STILL HERE

THERE’S a lot I could be saying. But not a whole lot I feel like talking about just yet. I have plans and ideas and desires yet it’s so hard to just come out and say anything. Maybe it’s just laziness. Afterall, my last post was like last May. And a lot has happened since then. I started work on a new book (which I’m nine chapters into at this point and still pushing forward), there was a controversy over the new Star Wars movie The Last Jedi (a movie which I adored), I’m still fleshing out the script to a video game I want to make (Who knows how long that will take), my old car broke down so I got a new one (and I find it frickin’ amazing), I ended up having to get a new computer (my new one bit the dust so hard that I wasn’t able to do ANYTHING online for a very long while-which is really why I haven’t posted on here in so long. But the new cpu shall serve me well, I am sure), YouTube demonetized me because, well, I don’t have enough subscribers and that means I can’t make money anymore (like I did anyway, not) so that ‘bad actors’ (their words not mine) can be removed from the site (YET Logan Paul can still make money being a dick to everyone around him and YouTube loves him for it. Hey, YouTube, your ‘bad actors’ are the guys making you the most money. Not us original players who aren’t stacking your checkbooks. Assholes), and I’m just living my life the best way I know how. It’s just day to day and I’m just one man out of billions of human beings being drowned out by said billions because I just don’t have anything to say that anyone really cares to hear. And I guess that’s ok.

I’m thinking about posting up some reviews here, I guess, about stuff I love. Probably no one will read it, but I guess I’ll put it up here out of posterity. Just because. I have a review of the Last Jedi that I’ll be posting to YouTube…eventually…and I suppose I can just publish the script for that episode up here. Or at least a synopsis. I really enjoyed that film and just don’t get WHY so many people hate it. It’s weird. Humanity is weird. Our whole civilization seems just angry and hellbent on wiping itself out so I guess I can’t really be surprised, now can I? Just gonna drink my beer and type up my crazy beliefs and thoughts right on here. So, nyah!!

Maybe I’ll post up the first chapter of my new book as well. Because… just because. Anyhow, my thoughts right now are this: the US is doomed because our idiotic president wants to get into a pissing contest with his own party, the world, and human decency, movies have been really entertaining lately even though naysayers are so up their own asses they can’t even see straight, Elon Musk is demonstrating that he wants off the planet…badly…and I can’t say that I blame him and I hope he turns us into a Star Trek world where we just boldly go, the Dark Tower series by Stephen King is awesome and inspiring me in my own writing of my new novel, I’m loving the direction my novel is taking (it’s violent, though. And I’m hoping it’s not amateurish), and, really, I do intend to post some things on here from time to time. I realized, though, that trying to maintain a monthly writing seems to be going nowhere. It feels like no one is really reading my posts and that I’m just pissing into the aether and talking to myself. But, sure, why not?

I love sushi.

Anyhow, if you ARE reading any of this, I will be posting more in the coming months. I just don’t have any sort of plan yet. Or maybe I don’t really need a plan. Maybe it should just be what I think. Who knows. Not me. But I’ll let you know what I’m thinking at the least. So stay tuned and thanks for reading. You’re one of the brave few.

THE FLAT EARTH CONSPIRACY

THE FLAT EARTH CONSPIRACY

Once upon a time, science was regarded as one of the most respectable and important tools in our arsenal to understand our world, ourselves, and our place in the universe. Sure, it’s had its problems, its fanatic practitioners who’ve embarrassed the look of said tool, but always it was driven by fact and observation. Its butted heads with religion but at the end of the day science is not a religion but a practice of logic and practicality. Whereas religion is about feeling and faith, science is cold and calculating. A dominion of the mind.

     If a scientist said the moon was round, composed of various elements, and could only be reached via a slow two day trip, we believed them. Because they were scientists. These were the people who ‘knew’ because they used their minds to solve problems.

     And then something happened.

     Over the last few decades, hardline ideologues with a mind towards the theological, managed to convince a number of the public that scientists were wrong and not to be trusted.

     Global warming being caused by human beings?

     Don’t be ridiculous! Just because we’re pouring 40 billion tons of carbon into the air annually, doesn’t mean that’s having an effect on the environment! Besides, here’s a snowball!

     We need better monitoring systems of NEOs (near earth asteroids)? Ludicrous! A near earth object hasn’t hurt Earth since the dinosaurs! Scientists are just trying to panic you! We’ll never have to worry about that again!

     Immunizations can stop child hood diseases? Laughable! Do you think we don’t see what you’re trying to do!? You’re trying to make our children autistic! Don’t trust them!

     Our energy needs need to change? Preposterous! We’ve been using gasoline for over a century and we’ve never been better! They just want to take away your independence!

     Rhetoric is trumping our scientific understanding. And no where is it more apparent than under the growing movement of the Flat Earth Society.

     Yes. That’s right. There are people who believe that the Earth is flat. Still. And it’s getting larger. The movement that is.

     Now, I’m not going to sit here and give a rational summizing of how they’re wrong and this is the evidence supporting my claims and etc etc etc. Mostly because, I’ve already had this argument many, many times. And it’s frivolous. They just believe it and their minds cannot be changed. So I’m going to take this opportunity to lament over the lost scruples of our new day and age because, obviously, we’re devolving as a society.

     So, just what is the Flat Earth Society and the Flat Earth Movement (affectionately known as ‘flattards’ in some circles)? It is a movement that believes there is a global conspiracy to conceal the true nature of Earth. That every nation on the face of the planet might be in conflict with each other from time to time but agree on this one fundamental issue that they must keep the fact from everyone around the world that the world is actually flat. And that flatness is encircled by a giant sheet of ice known as Antarctica. And that no one has ever crossed that ice sheet because: A) it’s illegal and monitored by every nation’s military and B) because it’s impossible to do.

     They also believe that gravity doesn’t exist. That what we call gravity is a force of acceleration by the massive disk we live on as it continues to fly upward by some unknown force. Through space. Forever. The sun and the moon are also small spheres twirling around each other above us giving us day and night.

     That’s it in a nutshell.

     And this…THIS is what people believe in that movement. It’s impossible to believe that the Earth is round with its own gravity well but, BUT it obviously makes much more sense that a giant disc encompassed by an ice sheet is speeding upwards through space for all eternity with two marbles doing a synchronized dance just above its surface!

     Sure, why not.

     How have we gotten to the point in our society where science is ridiculed but believing THIS is rational!?

     But, Tim, you might say, we have the evidence to show them! We’ve been to space! We travel around the world every day! Photos show the curvature of the globe! Satellites are in geo synchronous orbit! We have the factual evidence of the distances of the sun, the stars, and other planets away from us! We can observe!

     LIES! They’ll tell you. According to the Flat Earther, NASA never went to space. It was made up because we were in the cold war with Russia. Those photos allegedly taken in space?  Fabrications to fool the public.

     Travelers flying on planes, the Flat Earther will say, are not flying around the globe. No they’re actually completing a wide circuit on the disk top that somehow expends less fuel than say flying in a straight line, I guess. OH! But planes also can’t fly in a straight line, they’ll say! Because the pilot must readjust altitude if this were a real globe and since they don’t that shows how flat the Earth really is! Don’t believe me? Watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOWZGky6Rc0

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCbdneAe2gk

     You’ll note that Flat Earthers will keep saying ‘show me the evidence to support your claim’. And when you show the evidence from over three thousand years of human migrational patterns, photos, stories, observations, your own eyes- they’ll dismiss it out right as ‘fake’ because there is NO evidence that you can provide them that will satisfy their conditions of ‘truth’.

     On the other hand, if you ask them to provide evidence to support THEIR claims, the likely response will skirt the ‘it can’t be shown’ argument and references to some idiot over a century and a half ago performing visual experiments on a lake because, to them, a boat doesn’t disappear ‘over’ a horizon, it vanishes view because of a curvature of your eye. But if you grab binoculars or a telescope you can clearly see the boat is still there so therefore the Earth is flat.

     And that’s it. Nonsensical retorts to scientific observations because what science has shown of the true nature is empirical.

     But that’s really part of the modern problem though isn’t it? These days the Flat Earthers CAN exist because our culture encourages them to exist. It’s no longer about empirical evidence and replication of experimentation. It’s no longer about the mind and what you can support with facts. It’s now about how you ‘feel’ something is true and therefore must be. I’ll use a word I once heard Stephen Colbert use: ‘truthiness’.

     Truthiness: I feel it is true so it must be.

     That sums up the state of our nation, of our species any more. The idea that personal world views supersedes factual demonstration is now paramount in the average mind. It’s a self placating gesture to shield oneself from serious problems in a world that continues to become more complicated and difficult to find a solution within.

     That and fear. Both are driving forces convincing people to follow the rhetoric of obvious liars because at least they offer a solution to issues we’re generally ill equipped to contend with. But this sort of personal security comes at the cost of other’s well being.

     If you’re a parent afraid to vaccinate your child because you fear the potential of autism being acquired, then you should be aware of the FACT that you’re definitely putting your child’s health on the line to whatever disease they might have been vaccinated against.

     If you don’t believe that human activities are a direct link to climate change and go out of your way to help elect candidates that are staunchly against environmental regulation, you should be aware that 40 billion tons of pollutants are entering the atmosphere every year. which, admittedly, is only .oo4 percent of the total atmosphere of our biome. However, the caveat being that that very slight change causes a warming of up to 1 degree temperature overall which leads to melting polar caps which add fresh water into the world’s oceans which disrupt currents, change migration patterns, can cause droughts and famine, and alter the soils where we farm making those locations no longer viable for food production.

     If you believe we are not facing an energy crisis and that our society will always have access to fossil fuels, you should know that the future viability of fossil fuels are very much in question and a need for alternative sources of energy production are required moving forward if we don’t want our society coming to a screeching, screaming halt.

     I’m sure a few people reading this will already be saying, “Look at this liberal cuck spewing ideological nonsense! You liberals are why we have problems!” To that I retort that’s part of the problem and what I’m talking about. Science has been demonized so much over the last few decades that it’s been given a label that doesn’t properly denote its value, that if you follow science you must therefore be a liberal. Effectively turning science into an ideology and thusly an enemy to be despised.

     But science is not liberal. It is not conservative. It is a tool. A tool we use to understand our world. The people who use those tools can have an ideology but the observation and replication aspects of the tool espouses no desire and only provides findings. And those findings give us the information we need to make educated decision.s Which is something I should think we’d all want.

     However, too many are taking aim at science. Taking aim at the very notion of finding real, irrefutable facts. Instead favoring ‘alternate facts’ and the idea that feeling is just as valid as the reality around them. Don’t get me wrong, feelings are important. They can keep you out of trouble and help you be wise in your decision making. But feelings are not observable. Alternative facts are not observable. Facts are facts because they were observed to be true. And that comes about by using the scientific approach.

     Unlike Flat Earthers who are the most notable syptom of this increasingly widening problem. And we need to get back to our respect of science. Or one day we’ll all believe we’re living on a giant disk screaming through space with two twirling marbles in the sky just above it giving us night and day.

     Are we sober yet?

 

For further reading check out this excellent article on the subject:

https://www.distract101.com/2017/01/flat-earth-theory-debunked-complete-guide/