Final Fantasy VII The Golden Cloud: Scripted Saturdays

Hello, Hello, Hello! I’m Timothy Scott Purvis and you have once more found yourself reading a Scripted Saturday offering! This week I’m presenting the very first script I wrote back in 2007 for my series Star Cloud that I posted to YouTube! The series ran for some ten episodes (including this prologue) and ended in 2012. I still have found memories making that show. Had a lot of fans in the beginning. Then YouTube started capitulating to corporations and, well, the show was taken down for a few years. When I put it back up, it just didn’t get the same amount of views. A few dozen versus thousands in a week. Pity.

Anyhow, in 2007 YouTube was still basically the new kid on the block and a lot of creators were posting videos of themselves playing with toy action figures and making up stories that they filmed. I thought, ‘I can do that.’ And started writing a script for a parody of Final Fantasy VII, a video game on the Playstation system in case you didn’t already know. I always loved that game and thought it would be fun to do. And it was. This is the original script but if you stick around to afterwards, I’ll link to the original video. Then, you can follow it to my page and see some playlists with all my Star Cloud and Silent Cloud stuff on there!

Anyhow, hope you enjoy and thanks for stopping by for a read!

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Originally written October 6^th 2007

STAR CLOUD PRELUDE

FINAL FANTASY VII

“THE GOLDEN CLOUD”

TIMOTHY SCOTT PURVIS

INT HOUSE–EXT GOLDEN STATUE

[We zoom in on Cloud staring at a golden statue of himself.]

CLOUD

MmmMmm. Look at that. That’s something special.

AERIS

[OS]

Hey Cloud!

CLOUD

Oh hey, Aerith!

AERIS

That’s “Aeris.”

CLOUD

Right right. Aeris. Heeeeellloooo, Aeris!

[Looks at her hips.]

AERIS

I’m up here.

CLOUD

[Looks at her breasts.]

Ohhhhh, yeah!

AERIS

Uh-huh, higher.

CLOUD

[Looks at her face for several seconds.]

Huh?

[Screams.]

AERIS

Very funny.

CLOUD

My bad. Say, have you seen my new statue? It is a testament to my heroic stature.

AERIS

Uh… someone built a statue of you?

CLOUD

Yeah… solid gold.

AERIS

Head’s too small.

CLOUD

What?

AERIS

Nothing.

BOTH

…

CLOUD

How can you say that!? The head’s just fine!

AERIS

Yeah, sure, if you’re into small heads.

CLOUD

Hey! I do not–

TIFA

[OS]

What’s up, guys?

CLOUD

Tifa! See my new statue? Aeris thinks my head’s too small! I’m guessing she’s suggesting it’s because I, allegedly, have a big head! At least, it’d better be that!

AERIS

Keep dreaming!

TIFA

I think Cloud’s head is perfect the way it is! All hail Cloud!

CLOUD

Yeah, I… wait…

TIFA

Anything else said about it is just a bunch of dilly-dally shilly-shally!  Dilly-dally shilly-shally! Dilly-dally…

AERIS

Here we go again. She’s like the energizer bunny when she gets like this!

CLOUD

Yeah, really…

TIFA

Dilly- dally shilly–

[An explosion rips her head off.]

AERIS / CLOUD

[SCREAM.]

CLOUD

[SCREAMS. TIFA’S HEAD FALLS OFF. SCREAMS. HER BODY FALLS OVER.]

AERIS

Oh no! Tifa! What lunatic would do such a thing!?

CLOUD

[SCREAMS THEN TURNS TO SEE BARRET.]

What the fuck is wrong with you!?

BARRET

[Smoke wafts from gun arm.]

Mmmm. I was getting tired of hearin’ it. She’s like the energizer bunny when she gets started.

CLOUD

You blew my fucking girlfriend’s head off!!

AERIS

Heyyyy!!!

CLOUD

Of all the retarded, insensitive, idiotic things you’ve done, this has got to be…

[Fades away.]

AERIS

What the hell?!

BARRET

That was weird.

AERIS

Cloud!? Cloooooouuuuuud!!!!!

[Pan up. Tifa’s body disappears too.]

INT SOMEWHERE ELSE–TRANSPORTER ROOM

[Cloud materializes into a strange environment.]

CLOUD

…the dumbest, most moronic thing… you’ve… done?

[Looks around the room.]

LEO

Who the hell is this?

MIKE

Ooops.

LEO

Where’s Zack and Genghis?!

MIKE

Dude! I… I think the beams got crossed again!

LEO

Damnit!

MIKE

So, uh, what about him?

LEO

[Grins maliciously.]

We kill it!

CLOUD

[Screams.]

FADE TO BLACK

CREDIT ROLL

~Fin

Thanks for stopping by and read to you all again next week! Star Cloud scripts will continue from here until finished! And then I have a few more extras that I found I think you might like. Stay tuned!

~Timothy S Purvis

VVVVVV It’s the original format of FFVII The Golden Cloud! Watch it now! Click it to go to my YouTube page! VVVVVVV

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SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION STARTS!

I would appreciate if you have Kindle or even if you want some paperback goodies if you’d head on over to my page and maybe show me some love there. I mean, if you’ve been reading a while and see something you like, wouldn’t you like to have it in your personal library? I have some cool short stories available for cheap. Also Tales From A Strange Mind that collects my short stories (there’s also a Kindle edition but, for some reason, Amazon wouldn’t let me link them together) , Tales From A Strange Mind II which collects my old novellas, Red Star Sheriff (Which also has a Kindle edition but Amazon, am I right?) my first novel ever released, though, yes, it does have some grammatical errors and drags on for way too long, sigh. But I still love it and I will be writing a follow up sometime within the next few years. I have a collection of my poems called MisAligned: The Heart Waxes Poetic which collects my old poems but not some of my newer ones included those flash fictions! I’ll probably do that in the future as well. And if you love the perfectly inane, why not check out my Star Cloud scripts presented in book form? Star Cloud The Original Scripts. Another one where Amazon was being difficult with me in connecting the Kindle and PB versions. Still, the paperback they let me sale for cheap and it’s well worth a look if I say so myself. Or, if you don’t want to click on individual links (all of which will take you to my author’s page anyway), just click on my author’s page directly by tapping my name: Timothy S Purvis See for yourself what all I’ve published since I began this venture in 2016.

I mean, if you like my work, of course. No pressure. Just trying to find my way in this world without working menial tasks and suffering physical and mental issues as a result. If only I could merely stay home and write. That would be my most epic fantasy brought to life. Well, if you don’t want to do that, you could also donate to my cause down below after all is said and done. It would help. You know, if you liked what you saw and all. Up to you. I don’t have a lot of reviews on my materials because of low sales. I mean, very, very low sales. In the single digits. Right now, I have to rely on Pubby for reviews and those people only read your synopsis and recap it for a five star review. I want honest opinions. Not mean ones, but honest. So, if you ever find yourself buying some of my work, I’d certainly appreciate some feedback. Again, up to you.

End Shameless Self Promotion!

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