I’m just a man in a world filled with people. I struggle to keep food on the table and the bill collectors at bay. I pray to be successful in my own, private business but fear I will always be locked into a retail job that I hate. I have talents that await in the wings but can’t be fully realized due to time. I write here to share my feelings with the world but I think the world continues to pass me by. I continually try to make a difference in the lives around me but I get the sense that nobody could care less.
I would like to think that my thoughts mean something. And they do. To my friends, my family, my colleagues. To an extent. Some would say I’m angry and cynical. And this is true. The world has become a mosh pit of hate and a symphony of destruction. I see the innate capabilities of our kind to be better than we are, yet witness it thrown by the wayside for selfish gain. Sorrow seems to be my only ally here as no matter how much I speak and try to be logical, those around me seem content to ignore it and simply…be.
How can our species construct such amazing civilizations as the Aztecs, and the Egyptians, and the Mayan, and the Sumerian, and the ancient Chinese, and yet be so content to be violently opposed to one another’s endeavors to seek the very basic ideals we all cling to as societies across the world? The yearning to be free and accepted. To become more than the sum of our parts. And yet the ire remains that if you aren’t one of us you’re one of them.
It’s like pissing in the wind and only getting soaked. I want more. But have to settle for less. I want to be heard yet I don’t want to be the center. I just want to see our kind evolve to its most perfect form. And fear that we’ll always be stuck with our hate and primal proclivities.
I guess in the end what I have to say doesn’t really matter though I’ll keep saying it regardless. I’m doomed to be an observer in the midst of madness and hope I’ll keep my wits in whatever life comes next. Maybe one day I’ll be able to focus on my animations and my tales. For now though it seems I’ll have to meander about in obscurity wondering how I’m going to pay the bills next month.
Anybody feel the same way? Or …Am I just speaking to the void?